J_Sims
tattooed scumbag !!!
Subject: early retirement
Dear Staff,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy
in the US since last Christmas, Management has decided to implement a scheme
to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons
selected to be RAPEd can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT
scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination) .
Persons who have been RAPEd and SHAFTed will be reviewed under the SCREW
scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPEd once,
SHAFTed twice and SCREWed as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPEd can only get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTed or SCREWed any
further by management. Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special
High Intensity Training) as possible.
Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives
employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring
to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all
the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management
Dear Staff,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy
in the US since last Christmas, Management has decided to implement a scheme
to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons
selected to be RAPEd can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT
scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination) .
Persons who have been RAPEd and SHAFTed will be reviewed under the SCREW
scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPEd once,
SHAFTed twice and SCREWed as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPEd can only get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTed or SCREWed any
further by management. Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special
High Intensity Training) as possible.
Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives
employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring
to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all
the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management
