WSJ: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

oh yeah, like americans are the poster child for precision driving right? lol!! sprinkle a little water on the roads here and it's mayhem!

 

Yeah - some of us whitey's get beat by an event we see 3 times in a year.

Its not like parking lots and freeways are a seasonal conditions for the asian people....

beat everyday versus beat in inclement conditions - you decide! lol!

 

Guys, I'm putting together a Group Buy. Whose in?

 

c'mon! I thought you thought all american drivers had the Michael Schumacher skillz! lmao!

As a matter of fact, I'd like to see how you'd fare in an japanese drivers test. you'd fare like this girl in the vid below.

[youtube]5mEMyFFDlz4[/youtube]

 

that was way too much whining to watch.

ASIAN DRIVERS = NO SURVIVORS

 

yeah....... cuz you never complain..........

 

dubjay- i checked out that kit--stylish but heavy (lead lining).

ah sew...

(i know, it's japanese, but close enough for a pun)

:cheers:

 

So thats why you sit so damm close to the windshield. LOL

 

I loved Red Dawn as much as the next guy, but I did realize it was only a movie.

WOLVERINES!!

 

At the end of the day, I guess it all comes down to your definition of "success". I think the writer of the original article needs to understand that her title should probably read something like "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior at raising Chinese Children to live Chinese lives". After reading the entire article I am still a little confused by what she considers success...

Additionally, I am not sure that there are too many of her type of Chinese who mountain bike, which is too bad for them.

 

..

 

Seriously, with all this racially offensive discussion, I'm surprised the mods haven't locked this thread yet or posts deleted.

I'm obviously not a mod, but please keep it clean. Some things are better not said or written.

 

The musical instrument thing is pretty funny. My mom enrolled me in piano lessons when I was like 8 or 9. I hated everything about it (the teacher, the exercises, etc). Much to her disappointment I eventually quit, but since we're whiteys she didn't force it upon me (I actually played the clarinet as well because I liked it more). Fast forward to today and all of a sudden I decided I wanted to learn how to play the piano...that nice Steinway grand in my mom's living room that I hated back in the day is going to be mine some day and I decided it was finally time to do it (and my mom) some justice. I started taking lessons a year and a half ago at age 35. Today I can play all of the Moonlight Sonata from memory, parts of Rhapsody in Blue and a couple other pieces. It's been easier than I thought, mainly because I *want* to do it. If someone forced me to do it, I'd never go through with it. But because I like it, even though it's difficult mastering a new piece, the sense of satisfaction I get once I can play it is pretty freakin' cool. Just like cleaning a new section of trail on my bike that always gave me grief.

As for my mom, she took 12 years of lessons when she was a kid and was (and still is) a very talented player. But when she left home for college, my grandfather told her, "If you want me to pay for college, you're going to become a teacher." What he understood is that only a handful of people in the world can actually make a living by playing a musical instrument. Better have a Plan B. You know China is loaded with talented piano players, but the odds of one of them becoming the next Lang Lang are pretty slim. As far as I'm concerned, forcing your kid to learn a piano piece like the article's author did is nothing more than an ego trip for the mother. "See, I cracked the whip on my kid until she cried but dammit, how cool is it that she can now play Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu?" Not that playing like that will ever get the kid anywhere in real life...

 

Oh my gosh, this is so funny, but there are soooo many misconceptions about Asians and Asian families in this thread. I don't think it helps that the author of the article wrote it in what is obviously a very "Asian-centric" perspective, so of course it's hard for some to comprehend or come to terms with what she is saying. To me, though, a lot of it makes total sense.

- I never learned an instrument (my parents actually never pushed me to), and I regret it immensely. I wish so much that my mom had forced me to learn how to play an instrument. Though I might have regretted it then, I think I would have learned a lot from it and I know I would have definitely appreciated it now.

- I still remember to this day my first B. I was in the fifth grade and I was so so so so disappointed with myself. My mother never chastised me for it or beat me or anything like that, but it was instilled in me that excelling in school was highly valued and so I was very disappointed. I did not feel as though I had let my parents down; instead, I felt that my mom had instilled in me that I was capable of doing better and it was from my own lack of effort that I didn't get an A. I think I was raised to believe that most people can excel academically if they work hard. I think that's the whole idea of the piano story, and instead of trying to look at it as a parent insulting or hurting their child, I definitely see the author's point of view: she believes in her child's ability and does not want to encourage her child to believe that there is something she can't achieve. If there's ANY one phrase I remember my mom always saying to me, it was that "You are so smart. If you just gave a little more effort you could do anything." She wasn't insulting me and saying she was disappointed in me, she was saying I was selling myself short by not trying harder.

- I was in a school play but I'll be honest, my parents were pretty ambivalent. My mom never said I couldn't, and if I wanted to pursue doing that, she would have been fine with it, I think.

- I don't know what kind of Asian families many of you know, but I know a lot of families that go hiking, camping, and spend a lot of time outdoors together. I remember taking lots of camping trips as a young kid. I do wish my parents had pushed organized spots like AYSO or softball or something, but I don't ever think I was deprived of the outdoors and nature. Come on now, how many times do mountain bikers go to the San Gabes or Whiting on a weekend morning and see tons of Asians going hiking? I think there is a strong appreciation for nature.

- My mom rarely, rarely, rarely let me sleep over my friends' houses while I was growing up. Part of it had to do with decency, part of it had to do with imposing on other people, and part of it was my mom's very religious background. I don't think I necessarily agree that this was wrong/right but I think if anything it was to err on the side of caution, which I can't blame her for.

Asian immigrants are some of the newest immigrants to the United States. Most Asian American children are second generation or have just recently arrived, so many of the traditional values are still heavily ingrained in them. On top of that, a lot of the Eastern Asian immigrants who arrived post-1965 (Immigration Act of 1965) were highly skilled and educated and found themselves in menial and low-paying positions. If they had kids, wouldn't they push their kids all they could to excel academically? For them, academia was the gateway to success in the US.

My mom emigrated from South Korea to the US in 1983. She was intelligent, independent, college educated, and came to the United States to study and create a life for herself. She wasn't sponsored by any family members and raised her own money to pay her way over. One of her first jobs was in a gas station and she was held up at gunpoint. She had a difficult time finding any support from anyone outside the Korean Christian community so obviously that's what she became plugged into, but finding jobs and making money and trying to go to school was hard. So because of that, she drilled in me constantly that to be successful in the United States, I needed to excel academically and to have a specialty. She told me that I'm Korean and I'm female, and sometimes things will be harder for me because of that so to give myself the advantage, I need to be good at something and I need to be smart.

She wasn't as strict as Ms. Amy Chau but sometimes I wish she had been more strict. I don't necessarily agree with everything that the author touts, and I don't know if I'd ever raise my children that same way, but I don't think there is anything wrong with applying pressure on your kids.

 

Oh my.

 

It's never too late. See my post above.

 

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I have met, mountain biked with and worked with many some great Chinese Americans. My comments are in no-way anti-Chinese/American. I do think we are in deep trouble with the power we've allowed China to leverage over the United States... why is communism suddenly OK, even defensible, now that they are manufacturing our consumer goods for pennies? It sounds like a bunch of Americans willing to sell their ideals for a cheap piece of plastic. It reminds me of the settlers buying rhode island for beads from the Indians, except in this example, the Chinese are the settlers and we're the Indians... we are unaware of how badly we are going to lose.

Personally, I'd rather have a wrench that cost a little more, that is made in America, that my father bought when he was in college, that he took care of, that I now take care of and that I will give to my kid to take care of, god willing... than to buy some POS wrench for $3.99 and throw it out in a couple months. You get what you pay for and the United States is about the get what it paid for, big time. We've sold out...

 

The moment where Chau's child was happy to have finally learned the piano song and to please her mom sounds more like Stockholm Syndrome to me than being happy about actually learning the song.

Stockholm syndrome is a term used to describe a paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express adulation and have positive feelings towards their captors that appear irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, essentially mistaking a lack of abuse from their captors as an act of kindness.

 

No offense, but what the heck does Communism/Chinese manufacturing have to do with a Chinese American mother's parenting methods?