WSJ: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

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lol, in addition to being called garbage, they forgot to add, roughly translated, why dont u just die? hahaha

 

I went to sleepovers, watched TV, had plenty of B's and C's and still somehow managed to graduate college and go into a successful career. Go figure! Moderate success is fine by me especially since I was actually able to enjoy my childhood.

 

I am not Asian, however, I have had more than one Asian friend tell me that I had an "Asian" upbringing---

Me: "I got an A on my test. I only missed one question."
Dad: "Why wasn't it an A+?"

I had an ulcer by the time I was 13. I was a pretty stressed-out kid.

 

after reading this and watching the last summer olympics, it leaves little doubt: we will be assimilated; resistance is futile!

:beer:

 

Seriously, I agree.
Important things to note are that you can't teach human characteristics like charisma, social skills, and personality better than actually going outside, doing things, and talking to people.

 

What a load:lol:. She's young and her kids are young. The woman is still learning parenting herself along the way just like the rest of us parents.:wave:

 

The average Asian life

 

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Well said!

 

You should listen to a Japanese mother explain why a Chinese mother is so inferior.

 

I have typed many responses to this - and then to delete them, then go and reread the piece above yet again. I'm sorry, but each time I do, I find it more insulting.

I personally am choosing to teach my kids, and grandkids through examples and encouragement that people -- ALL PEOPLE -- have more value than anything else in this world and your time here is short. Live it to the fullest, never regret - but learn from your mistakes and the more you give and share with others (sometime it's just a kind word to a stranger, picking up trash while no one is watching) will reward you well.

You don't need anything to MAKE you happy or successful - it all comes from within.

(Hugs Allison - I know others that had an upbringing like yours, sounds like your parents are helping you now, congrats on the new home!)



DAMN...I've wondered into the pub again... Any body get a new bike or a pic I can drool over?

 

Who is raising her kids while she and her husband are at work?:-$

 

Calzone, that was far too much reading of a guy with Western parents, but I imagined that my mother was Chinese and read the whole thing anyway. I think the point is that America has far too many losers and slackers, people who take pride in their poverty, their mediocrity, or their "ghettoness." Successful people are looked upon with suspicion and condescension, rather than admiration.

Point for discussion:
I think we're all aware that children of Asian descent perform better academically. Are they intellectually superior due to genetic reasons? Should Westernized-Americans accept this disparity, ceding technical, high-paying jobs to Asian countries, saving the menial jobs for themselves?

 

I found it very interesting and have been in different homes where both were practiced. I once lived in a foster home where I got a beating for bringing home a "C". And I lived in another where they never even looked at my report card. Everything was fine as long as they didn't get called by the school. I find merit and concern for both styles but I prefer the western style. You're only a kid once and lifes most enjoyable experiences for me were of my youth. Youth should be a time for enjoying life to it's fullest but at the same time it's also the best time for learning. To get an ulcer at such a young age suggests way to much stress to me. Sorry about that tough time at such a young age Allison.

 

On a related note;

Push to achieve tied to suicide in Asian-American women



May 16, 2007 By Elizabeth Cohen CNN

One evening in 1990, Eliza Noh hung up the phone with her sister. Disturbed about the conversation, Noh immediately started writing a letter to her sister, a college student who was often depressed. "I told her I supported her, and I encouraged her," Noh says
But her sister never read the letter. By the time it arrived, she'd killed herself.

Moved by that tragedy, Noh has spent much of her professional life studying depression and suicide among Asian-American women. An assistant professor of Asian-American studies at California State University at Fullerton, Noh has read the sobering statistics from the Department of Health and Human Services: Asian-American women ages 15-24 have the highest suicide rate of women in any race or ethnic group in that age group. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for Asian-American women in that age range.

Depression starts even younger than age 15. Noh says one study has shown that as young as the fifth grade, Asian-American girls have the highest rate of depression so severe they've contemplated suicide.

As Noh and others have searched for the reasons, a complex answer has emerged.

First and foremost, they say "model minority" pressure -- the pressure some Asian-American families put on children to be high achievers at school and professionally -- helps explain the problem.

"In my study, the model minority pressure is a huge factor," says Noh, who studied 41 Asian-American women who'd attempted or contemplated suicide. "Sometimes it's very overt -- parents say, 'You must choose this major or this type of job' or 'You should not bring home As and Bs, only As," she says. "And girls have to be the perfect mother and daughter and wife as well."

Family pressure often affects girls more than boys, according to Dr. Dung Ngo, a psychologist at Baylor University in Texas. "When I go talk to high school students and ask them if they experience pressure, the majority who raised their hands were the girls," he said.

Asian-American parents, he says, are stricter with girls than with boys. "The cultural expectations are that Asian women don't have that kind of freedom to hang out, to go out with friends, to do the kinds of things most teenagers growing up want to do."

And in Asian cultures, he added, you don't question parents. "The line of communication in Asian culture one way. It's communicated from the parents downward," he says. "If you can't express your anger, it turns to helplessness. It turns inward into depression for girls. For boys it's more likely to turn outwards into rebellious behavior and behavioral problems like drinking and fighting."

But Noh says pressure from within the family doesn't completely explain the shocking suicide statistics for young women like her sister.

She says American culture has adopted the myth that Asians are smarter and harder-working than other minorities.
It's become a U.S.-based ideology, popular from the 1960s onward, that Asian-Americans are smarter, and should be doing well whether at school or work."

Noh added that simply being a minority can also lead to depression.

"My sister had a really low self-image. She thought of herself as ugly," she says. "We grew up in Houston in the '70s and '80s, and at that time in school there were very few Asian faces. The standard of beauty she wanted to emulate was white women." In college, Noh's sister had plastic surgery to make her eyes and nose appear more European-looking.

Heredity, Noh says, also plays a role. She says in her study, many of the suicidal women had mothers who were also suicidal. She says perhaps it's genetic -- some biochemical marker handed down from mother to daughter -- or perhaps it's the daughter observing the mother's behavior. "It makes sense. You model yourself after the parent of the same gender."

As varied as the causes of depression, Noh says she saw just as many approaches to overcoming it.

While some women in her study did seek help through counseling and prescription drugs, most of her subjects were ambivalent or even negative about counseling. "They felt the counselor couldn't understand their situation. They said it would have helped if the counselor were another Asian-American woman."

These women found help through their religious faith, herbs, acupuncture, or becoming involved in groups that help other Asian women.

"It shows the resourcefulness of these women," she says. "They had really diverse healing strategies."

http://articles.cnn.com/2007-05-16/...n-women-asian-american-parents/2?_s=PM:HEALTH

 

Back on topic: Western Style of Riding

Mediocrity is perfectly acceptable, and we don't have to try hard to have high self esteem. The Fullerton Loop is jam-packed with round-eyed riders, like the 405 at rush hour.

Venturing into the San Gabriels, you'll only see the occasional Asian rider, but only briefly before they pull away and leave you in their dust.

If a round-eye exclaims, "DUDE! I DID it! You gonna just sit there, or are you gonna RIDE" he's accused of being mean spirited, and banished to somewhere cold and scary, like the Main Divide.

 

the lady in the article forgot one big concept that was pound into me at a young age. "practice does not make perfect. perfect practice makes perfect!"

Yes, I grew up in an extremely traditional japanese household. Where it seemed that nothing less than perfection was acceptable. I appreciate my parents for doing so (later in life).

I think Lexus corporate slogan has the "japanese way" written all over it. "in constant persuit of perfection". watta ya think?

 

Except when their cars are killing people.

 

they must have not accounted for western drivers....... j/k