(Humor) The most functional word in the English language (mild crudeness)...

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by JoeTruth, Apr 10, 2009.

  1. JoeTruth

    JoeTruth Active Member

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    THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

    Well, its shit ... that's right, shit!
    Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

    Consider:
    You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.

    With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.


    You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
    And tell others to eat shit.

    Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

    There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
    You can throw shit, sling s hit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

    You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

    You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

    Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

    Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

    You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

    You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

    Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
    When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

    And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

    You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!
    Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........
    Well, Shit Happens!!!

    :wave:
     
  2. dirtyjeff

    dirtyjeff The same, but different

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    Now, that's some funny shit! :lol:
     
  3. mtnbikerfred

    mtnbikerfred Super Moderator

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    George Carlin (RIP) ?
     
  4. JoeTruth

    JoeTruth Active Member

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    I don't know! I got it from a friend in an email. It could easily be Carlin material and humor. It's right down his alley.

     
  5. art23rockpile

    art23rockpile Minus Delta T

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    Well, shit howdy! :wave:
     
  6. Burner

    Burner WAWE

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    I just hope Gabe Zink doesn't post a pic to this thread ;)
     
  7. art23rockpile

    art23rockpile Minus Delta T

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    Oh yes you DO! :lol:
     
  8. JoeTruth

    JoeTruth Active Member

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    Oh, shit!

    [​IMG]



    I believe this suffices as an "oh shit" as well!
    [​IMG]
     

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