"Euro-English"

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Brewtal, Apr 1, 2010.

  1. Brewtal

    Brewtal Squirrel Whisperer

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    As part of the negotiations, the British Government
    conceded that English spelling had some room for
    improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
    that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
    Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with
    joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
    This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
    one less letter. There will be growing publik
    enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
    "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
    like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
    kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more
    komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double
    letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
    speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
    "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
    away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
    replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
    vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil
    hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
    find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united
    urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
    like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
     
  2. Magna_Graecia

    Magna_Graecia Tapia Bunny Slayer

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    What made this worse was the I could read the entire thing without any problems.

    Damn linguistic anamolies! (^_^);
     
  3. moka

    moka Moka Was Here!

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    A disaster waiting to happen. Funny stuff, thanks
     
  4. simonmtb

    simonmtb Digging for fun.

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    Mande? No comprendo.
     

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