The time killing thread

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by jasonmason, Jun 1, 2009.

  1. Chewyeti

    Chewyeti Circus Bear

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    ok brian... what the hell.
     
  2. Bryguy17

    Bryguy17 A little Shaggy

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    I really don't have a good answer for that chewy :lol:
     
  3. jasonmason

    jasonmason inebriate savant

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    I've been busting up all morning over some of these. The best nights ones are awesome...but then again, so are the worst nights ones. They make me want to party even harder, just so i can text someone this:

    (801): You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
    (1-801): There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
    (801): alright see you in the morning

    -that one is so good, i'm almost considering it for a new sig...
     
  4. jasonmason

    jasonmason inebriate savant

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    more gems:

    (404): What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?

    (386): it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.

    (314): WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?

    (305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
    (615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

    (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

    (314): rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

    (305): If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

    (304): you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

    I just keep reading, and they just keep getting better...
     
  5. ridevryday

    ridevryday Member

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  6. jasonmason

    jasonmason inebriate savant

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    can't put it down

    I'm up to page 100 now...still stupid hilarious. And this is just the 'best nights' ones. I can't imagine the 'worst nights' ones...
     
  7. gray

    gray Tree Hugger

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    Did you search by area code yet?
     
  8. jasonmason

    jasonmason inebriate savant

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    Yeah, but only a few of them looked semi-familiar...
     
  9. gray

    gray Tree Hugger

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    :lol:
     
  10. jasonmason

    jasonmason inebriate savant

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    Some of the 'worst' ones:

    (212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

    (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

    (843): happy early fathers day!!!
    (829): im not a father
    (843): about that...

    (781): She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
    (617): Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.

    (412): Dude, you need to talk to your mom
    (724): wtf?
    (412): She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
     
  11. Chewyeti

    Chewyeti Circus Bear

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  12. Zippy

    Zippy Small, but Mighty

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    (386): i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena

    WIN! :lol:
     
  13. jasonmason

    jasonmason inebriate savant

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    (405): I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome

    Ah, the greatest ninja site ever..http://www.realultimatepower.net/
    I'd completely forgotten about this until, oh, right now.

    'Facts:

    1. Ninjas are mammals.
    2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
    3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.'

    Q and A:.

    Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about ninjas?
    A: Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninjas are very careful and precise.


    Q: I heard that ninjas are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?
    A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, ninjas can be mean OR totally awesome.

    Q: What do ninjas do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?
    A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)

    RAD!
     
  14. Kid A

    Kid A now with 40% more bacon

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  15. mpmffitz

    mpmffitz Farm Freerider

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  16. ssmike

    ssmike New Member

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  17. jasonmason

    jasonmason inebriate savant

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  18. Kid A

    Kid A now with 40% more bacon

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  19. BH1

    BH1 New Member

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  20. Bryguy17

    Bryguy17 A little Shaggy

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    For timmy :beer:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     

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