You know you're a hardcore cyclist when...

You use your helmet as a hair-styling device.

You think nothing of walking into public places dressed in tights like a super hero.

You can give instantaneous directions to any corner in the city, but only for those using bike paths and public transportation.

Multi-ton cars and trucks are tearing along in front, alongside and coming up behind you... your pulse rate: 66.

All of your pants have frayed cuffs and chain-grease marks.

You keep deodorant and baby wipes at the office.

You are polite to most everyone, you blush at some rap songs, but you swear like a drunken sailor when a grandma in an SUV cuts you off.

You've been asked if you're a tap dancer.

Although you speak only English, you're perfectly capable of pronouncing several words in Italian.

The friend who was so happy to see you on his morning drive wonders why you gave him the finger when he honked.

When someone asks for advice on buying a bike, you either: ask, a) "How many thousands do you want to spend?" b) assail them with so many questions about intended use, riding style and the like, not to mention such personal questions as pubic bone height, that you make buying a bicycle sound like rocket science and unintentionally put them off the idea.

When that same person reacts by saying, "It's only a bicycle," your jaw drops and your eyes bug out, and you're only half kidding.

When you encounter rough pavement, you say to yourself, "Ah, pave," and daydream about leaving the peloton in your dust as you speed through Arenberg Forest.

A car goes by with two (your preferred gender here) carrying two bikes. Later, you can't recall their hair color or what make car, but you can ID the bikes' make, model and color.

You have 3 bikes and you absolutely need more.

You sometimes wish you had a longer commute to work, just so you could ride more.

You ride 50 miles, one way, with a twenty in your pocket and if you actually buy something, you consider leaving the change because of the weight.

You select a restaurant because of its charming, outdoor dining. Your bike is 23 inches away. You lock it anyway. But you can't enjoy your meal because you can't take your eyes off your bike.

You consider the color of the bikes hanging from your ceiling when selecting home decor.

You missed more than two family events this summer due to scheduling conflicts with club rides.

You and your friends can recreate the "Jaws" scene where Quint, Brody, and Hooper compare scars, each with an even better story behind it, except yours go something like "This is from a 1990 Buick station wagon that turned left in front of me and put me over the hood."

Another cyclist asks you for the location of the nearest bike shop; you fix their bike on the spot.

You shop for your spring wardrobe at our store, rather than malls and clothing stores.

Your idea of surfing consists of drafting buses, minivans, and SUVs to keep up with the green wave.

You practice track stands and bunny hops in your spare time.

When actually driving, you stop at a red light and since no pedestrians are in the crosswalk you start to drive right through before you realize you are NOT on a bike, and slam on the brakes.

Similarly, when driving on the highway at 60 mph, you freak out at a 1-inch-wide groove in the pavement. What if your tires get stuck?

You know the location of all the major potholes between your home and office.

You can't think of the last time you saw any of your friends who don't bike.

 

funny stuff..:lol:

 

i love the make and model:lol: one, and the 1 inch wide crack one!

 

I like the track stand and bunny hops on the spare time one.. I do that and often ride over to my old elementary school and jump the stairs :lol:

what about.. you know you're hardcore when your friends tell you to stop talking about biking/trails..

you're girlfriend/boyfriend thinks you're obsessed

 

When your g.f. has to remind you that there's a naked girl in your bed to get you away from bike porn.

 

That is the best so far! :lol:

 

awesome Lee!

 

#-othe truth hurts.

but I'm happy

 

I'm guilty of to many of these.

 

When driving a car and you come upon a stopsign or light, you "unclip" without realizing it.

You know which one you think tastes better: Stan's or Slime.

When driving home after a ride, you catch yourself speeding up for speedbumps (in your car).

Instead of wondering why anyone would want a bike with one gear, you want to know whether it's fixed or freewheel.

 

Both so true :beer:

 

good stuff!

You go to a party with cyclists and non-cyclists. By 9pm the cyclists are heading home so they can hit the trails bright and early. Others think this is lame but you think it's perfectly normal.

You don't recognize your friends in street clothes.

You measure the success of a day by how much dirt rinses down the shower drain.

When you sit down at a computer, your fingers unconsciously enter "socaltrailride..." or "mtbr.co..." before you realize what's happening.

 

When you have more sweaty cycling clothes in your laundry basket each week than work and casual clothes combined.

 

I honestly made it through the first 12 before I found one that didn't apply. Yes, I have actually flipped a friend off by accident for honking at me.

 

Someone tells you that you have a "1-track mind", all you can do is stare blankly at the person, wondering what the problem is.

You can say the following sentence with a straight face:
"I found an adjustable-height seatpost on-line for ONLY $200!"

Your bike is worth more than your car.

When in bed with your significant other, upon them hearing the words "I want to go for a ride!", they immediately roll away from you in disappointment and go to sleep.

 

Yeah, so... ?