The Attack of the Phantom Pooper

The Saga Continues

so i had just finished the first 3 of would eventually be 9 b's in oaks tonight--dropped in off the towers, rolled into that first right-hand turn and: whammo. human land mines. he's been livin' like it's thanksgivin'. i almost wiped (so to speak) out trying to avoid them--but to no avail.

i had minor splatter on my leg and...uh, patches on my rear tire, so i cleverly used up almost all of my remaining water detoxing myself and my bike. i did manage to alert 2 guys behind--so to speak--me, but one of them still got splashed.

other than that, it was a great ride- 3 zips, 2 chutes, 1 goat, and 0 complaints (after the above mentioned feces encounter).

be safe out there. keep your eyes open and your mouth closed.

:beer:
Edit: sorry, no pictures--use your imaginations.

 

sorry i had to go

 

I think the same guy showed up at Hulda Crooks in Loma Linda a few months ago. He left a poop stained jacket and some other excrement between one of our newly built doubles. Now affectionately called the 'Sh!t Jump'.

 

LOL! i know exactly where and what your talking about...

i was at santiago oaks yesterday with a group of friends and i literally ate shit at the same spot! and yea, it went in my damn mouth! after that right hand turn, i saw all these chunks flying everywhere! i started yelling, SHITTTT so my friends know whats up. as i was yelling shit, a piece got in my mouth! soooo grosss! it def wasn't horse shit... thought it might be dog crap... but now im pretty sure its human shit.

eating shit on oaks.... lovely...

 

problem solved

i thought i could "flush" out the guilty party.

 

1. thanks for alerting the rest of us

2. thanks for the visual

3. lips that touch shit will never touch mine

4. sorry. really. damn.

:beer:

 

:lol:

 

Poop Chute!

 

that's freaking gross!!! new definition to eating shit though...

 

Doug did you do the taste test? :lol: I'm so down to do a stake out one of these days. Last time we rode there were some up there too.

 

1. no, thank you, i did not do the taste test (instincts kicked in).

2. stake out? what would we do if we saw him? a$$rehend him?

 

What would you do if you caught him???!! Isn't it obvious????
Why, you give that fella a Dirty Sanchez he'll never forget!
Or a Hot Carl. If you don't know what that is, you'll have to PM me.

 

I believe he struck on Tuesday May 26 (or was it thursday?) between 7:00 and 7:45pm. Riding multiple laps through oaks. No poop first time around, poop second lap. Not many people out there. although up the final b**ch, i did see one hiker going down. Male, in his 50-60's, ~5'10", greying hair, with a white backpack. A female hiker and her dog were heading up the ridgeline. I regret not turning around and at least asking the male hiker a few questions. But it was getting dark...i didn't want to stop my workout...excuses. Now, i realized i may have been pretty close to possibly revelealing the identity of the phatom pooper.....

 

Jeez...I had a poop encounter at Oaks in 2001. I can't believe it is still happening. Some one needs to set up a surveillence camera

 

I think they did have a camera up there, but someone ripped it out. I remember seeing a box, then the next day it was ripped apart and computer parts were all over the trail.

 

i think it's time to take things into our own hands.

let me rephrase that...

 

Wow, I hit poop in the same spot a few months ago. I figured it was a dog, but now I'm starting to think it wasn't an isolated incident.

My dog poops in the same part of the backyard everytime. Maybe (if it is an animal and not human) the same thing is going on here.

I had to use a stick I found on the trail to scrape out the chunks of crap in between the small chainring and the frame. The best part was not realizing the poop splattered up my back and camelbak until I got back to the truck...

 

.

You probably came within shitting distance of the notorious serial pooper and didn't even know it. You are seriously lucky that you lived to tell the tale.

You might want to talk to a police artist so they can put together a photo-fit (or photo-shit) of the suspect.

Whoever it is will go on and on with their defecating deeds, squatting randomly along the trail, until they are either caught or get constipated. It's your STR civic duty to help put this fecal fiend behind bars 8-[

 

This is the most spectacular thing I have ever read. How does everyone know it is human? You see corn or peanuts or something.

 

I rode past a "fresh one" at the spot ~7:04 PM Mon night. This person needs to be found.