The Official Euro Cyclist Code Of Conduct:

[S54MCoupe]

1.Image and style shall be your primary concern. Winning races is an added bonus, and only counts if said euro cyclist wins with appropriate style.

2. You shall NEVER, under any circumstances, wear plain black spandex shorts or any team kit containing non-prominent Logo's.

3. The Socks must extend no less than 1cm below the main bulge of your calf muscle, and shall never extend further than 2cm past the primary calf muscle bulge . All socks shall be white in colour with prominent logo placement.

4. Cycling shoes must be of white colour only!-in certain circumstances, other colours, such as World Champion stripes are perfectly acceptable and encouraged.

5. If white cycling shoes are not available where you reside, white booties with prominent logo's shall always be worn.

6. You're bike frame must contain more than 3 colours, and must always fit tastefully with your wheel selection.

7. Zipp's are to be used as training wheels ONLY. You shall race only on Lightweights and occasionally Bora's if no lightweights are accessible.

8. Ridiculously stylish eye wear is to be worn at all time without exception.

9. In most circumstances, hair shall be kept neatly short, and matching helmet shall be worn (again with prominent logo placement). Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES shall a clashing helmet colour be worn with your euro kit.

10. In several cases, it is deemed acceptable to have long hair. In this event, hair shall be neatly slicked back in maximum euro-styling, and helmet shall not be worn. Stylish sport eyewear shall be worn at all times while exercising this option.

11. A prominent line where your kit ends and where your tan begins is essential to your image. Artificial tanning is banned, the tan shall reflect the level of training commitment.

12. All podium shots (pictures) shall be taken with the euro-rider wearing team kit and appropriately matching casual euro shoes (such as puma's). Socks shall remain within the guidelines above.

13. The seat shall ALWAYS be white along with the handlebar tape, and must be made in Italy or France. - Exception to this rule are seats or handlebar tape containing the following colours: World Champion Stripes,Olympic Gold, Italian flag colour combo (green redwhite).

14. You shall not, under any circumstances, acknowledge the presence of a cyclist riding a bike costing less than $4000 USD in a public place. This could be severely detrimental to your image.

15. Legs will be shaved year-round. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS.

16. Nothing short of All Carbon Water bottle cages shall be used. The only exception is gold (the metal) bottle cages which can be preferable in some situations where colour coordination is key (this is always).

17. Facial hair will be restricted to a goatee, and even this is discouraged. Mustaches are EXPRESSLY PROHIBITED.

18. Ceramic bearings shall be used at all time on both training and race bikes.

19. Campagnolo shall be the only acceptable componentry and is hereby deemed superior to ANY Shimano product in ALL circumstances. You are expected to have nothing less than an ENTIRE campy grouppo. Crank substitutions are NOT permitted.

20. ALL wheels shall be equiped with tubulars, regardless of your ability in gluing them.

21.You shall NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, associate with triathletes. It is FORBIDDEN to have any number inked onto your body before a race.

22. Any physical activity, other than cycling, is STRONGLY DISCOURAGED. This includes any form of running or swimming and their derivatives (this includes walking).

23. You shall never rearrange your package while riding. Adjustments regarding seating/hanging comfort are to be done in private in order to preserve image.

24. In a circumstance where any cyclist ever displays aggression or disrespect towards you, you shall ride up uncomfortably close to them and slap them in the face with your team issue gloves. (which must be white)

25. MTB gloves are FORBIDDEN. Cycling gloves will be slick, white, and have minimal padding. Padding will be beige or white in colour.

26. In the event a motorist disturbs your ride, you shall proceed to ride up beside the car, form a clenched fist and bang the trunk of the car while doing your best attempt to sound irritated in Italian. Wild arm/head gestures are strongly encouraged to enhance the apparent rage.

27. When riding, sans helmet, a team issue cycling cap, preferably white, should be worn (depending on the hairstyle). The bill shall remain in the downward position at all times. Cycling cap can be worn forwards or backwards to coincide with current hairstyle.

Live it people!

[allison]

Funny, thanks!! I passed that on to a few roadies

[andino]

lol i'm gonna try this ...well maybe not...don't want to get killed

[Pain Freak]

Now I know what I was doing wrong.....

Very funny!

[S54MCoupe]

Originally Posted by andino

lol i'm gonna try this ...well maybe not...don't want to get killed

Not trying it is what might get you killed... by the style police. Now get up and buy those $500 white SIDI shoes!

Originally Posted by Pain Freak

Now I know what I was doing wrong.....

Very funny!

Yeah Mike, I really wanted to say something about your gloves, bike, helmet and shoes when we first met. You were in flagrant violation of some of the rules. I mean, your gloves weren't even team issue gloves, much less white! And the Jersey... lets just say there was plenty more room for team logos. I really want to go riding with you, but until I see you slap someone across the face with white team issue gloves, I cant.

Just messin with ya

[Pain Freak]

Does slaaping MTB Maven count?

I order white gloves with matching socks, but it's kind of hard to tell that they're white with all the logo's all over the place. Also ordered the old Euskatel Orange jersey and matching bibs. Jose and I got a deal on a group purchase....I don't know why he needed 5 pairs of bibs???

[gurp13]

I'm still waiting for my Phonak kit. Seems they're back ordered.

[roadkillross]

zipp's are a joke!! just a cheap rim with a carbon peice glued on

[S54MCoupe]

Originally Posted by Pain Freak

Does slaaping MTB Maven count?

I order white gloves with matching socks, but it's kind of hard to tell that they're white with all the logo's all over the place. Also ordered the old Euskatel Orange jersey and matching bibs. Jose and I got a deal on a group purchase....I don't know why he needed 5 pairs of bibs???

White gloves with so many logos that it's almost hard to tell that they are white? AWESOME. I am impressed.

And yes, slapping MTB Maven does count, white gloves or not. In fact, slapping him is 2x extra credit.

As for the bibs, it's always important to have several extra pairs, in the event of one pair becoming unusable.

Originally Posted by roadkillross

zipp's are a joke!! just a cheap rim with a carbon peice glued on

Lightweights are the only way to go, really.

Originally Posted by gurp13

I'm still waiting for my Phonak kit. Seems they're back ordered.

What are you riding in right now? If it's not a team kit, I would probably lay off riding until you have one.

[gurp13]

I wear an Iron Maiden jersey. It frightens all those Euro-wimps until I can get my teak kit and fit in with them. Oh and black lycra, gray gloves, gray shoes.

Oy, I have a lot of shopping to do.

[soul rider]

did style man create the rules?

[roadkillross]

i can see why people want em, just i'd rather get some fulcrums.

[S54MCoupe]

Originally Posted by roadkillross

i can see why people want em, just i'd rather get some fulcrums.

Fulcrums are rad, but I think the most impressive wheels around right now are the LEW's. LEW RACING

880g for wheelset, and a 4 year gaurantee. They are almost $9,000 with all the options, though, haha