Give you best marriage/dating advice.

[jcampbell]

just don't get married or your fo shizzle will be in boxes on the doorstep one day and she'll think the rest is hers to keep...

[sladnas]

My wife and I are polar opposites on almost everything...so I guess you could say we fit together like a cog and chain (who knew mountain biking could get mushy). We were highschool sweethearts (met her when I was 16, she 14). I'm 28 now. We just never saw an alternative to "not together." Once we met there was an understanding at some level deep in our brains that "this is different" than what other people in highschool were doing. There was a deep connection between us even back then.

I don't think there is any one thing that makes a perfect mate (certainly there can be those one things that turn you off though). Marriage/proposals should be a natural progression that may be surprising, but should not be unexpected...

[Tedroy]

All ya gotta do is buy her a BIKE!

[BAD_S197]

Lessons learned from my two divorces...

- find someone you have stuff in common, not everything but at least 50% so you can share and/or do things together.

- find someone who likes the same foods, drinking habits etc... it sucks having a wife who cant cook and what does cook is not good. Someone who doesnt drink trying to understand why you do much less hang out with friends drinking at a bar socially.

- If any of your friends says dude, are you sure? listen to that advice and consider those words, IS SHE THE ONE? I wish I'd had listened to them.

- If a woman can't accept your friends, you dont need her. Can't remember how many times i gave up visiting my friends because she didnt like them. Bro's before hoes.

- she's heavily into religoun and you aren't.. it wont work. YOu'll always be the heathen... (sp?) and she will always be the saint. I've found religous people to be the biggest hypocrits on the planet. A lot seem to use church as another networking tool to pawn their bobbles.

- happy woman = happy husband, only if what makes her happy, you agree with.

- sex is important.... i shouldnt even have to get into the details.

- keep money seperate, this way "permission" doesnt even come into the field. Pre-nup is the way to go.

- communication is important - how much do you talk and what do you talk about?

- language barrier is important as well.. my ex's have all been vietnamese or chinese and it sucks having relatives you cant talk to or understand or a wife who just isn't up on english and you have to explain every single word with more than one meaning or have to reword everything she hears so she understands. It's very frustrating sometimes when having a fight and she has no idea what the word "patronizing" means when she's doing it to you.

eh.. i could go on but the forum wouldnt have enough bandwidth, but those are some of my basics now..

[Red Ryder]

Make your feelings known, listen to her feelings (that's the tough part) be honest

These are simple words that for some reason are difficult to put into everyday practice, sometimes it's easier to be mad and not listen. After 34 years I think I just about got it down

[coldbrews]

Leykis 101?

[OMR]

sometimes you just want to:

[denmother]

Hmmm, what can I add that hasn't already been said......

• Realize that you have made a lifetime commitment (or so it's supposed to be). This helps you work hard at making it work.
• Don't be afraid to fight and then make up!
• Take turns spending money. We have 1 bank account and I am the banker. My husband hates details, he just wants his allowance.

I enjoy the fact that my husband and I have the same hobbies (snowboardng and cycling). Our bike addiction is quite serious so we have to take turns buying bikes/parts (i.e. you just got a Fox 40, it's my turn now). Oh, I must also mention that we do not have kids, just 2 dogs.

Some couples have separate money and hobbies and make it work, more power to them, but for us, it's togetherness all the way.

[FoShizzle]

(#1) Find a bike shop that provides "wife receipts" for your purchases. My shop does that so i dont burden my poor wife too much with budget concerns.

(#2) For bigger bike purchases, make sure you dont have parts/bikes shipped to your home address. The last thing you want to do is "burden" the wife with concern over what the big box is on the porch when she comes home; might scare your precious darling.

(#3) Do not get your spouse into biking. The more she learns about biking the more she will come to understand how much bling actually costs. There is NO WAY unless you are a biker you would ever believe this stuff costs as much as it does. This also has the added benefit of protecting your honey from getting hurt while riding. Allows her more time to clean the house too.

(#4) When replacing bikes, make sure they are the same color or are close enough in color so that the spouse does not notice. Of course this is predicated on number 3 where if she is a biker, of course she will notice any change.

(#5) Do NOT tell your wife that when she turns 40 that you will be trading her in for two 20 year olds....trust me, i tried this and even in jest it did not go over well. So instead I asked for a threesome when i turn 40 as a compromise and sorry burner, the third would be a girl.

[JoeTruth]

[SIZE=3]I'd have nerves giving you marital advise considering I'm recently divorced. Listen to some of the others, lots of good advise here. I will say this little bit...

One thing I can say is that I failed to do what this old wise man told me once before I married. He told me that couples need to write an unwritten contract with one another of what you'll give and what you'll take. Basically, boundaries and tolerance. Fail to do this in the beginning and you will pay until you die or divorce. I should've listened to him and taken his wise words more literally. Simple but yet deep and logical. Don't create an environment or a standard you can't live up to. Reveal your true self before you take the plunge and vise-versa. Don't pretend a certain thing does not bother you when in reality it does. Such things will haunt you and come back to bite you in the ass. That's a given!
Also, being best friends is essential. If you can't be unconditional friends with your spouse, then you might as well not be married. A marriage should be established on such foundations. Everything else will naturally follow.

Most importantly, be 100% honest. Don't justify little white lies (hiding bike parts, going riding, what you really paid for your bike, etc.) Again (speaking from experience), these sort of lies will come back to bite you in the ass. Guaranteed!

Marry for the right reasons. Too many people don't. Best of luck!


[/SIZE]

[BrewMaster]

Originally Posted by FoShizzle

(#1) Find a bike shop that provides "wife receipts" for your purchases. My shop does that so i dont burden my poor wife too much with budget concerns.

(#2) For bigger bike purchases, make sure you dont have parts/bikes shipped to your home address. The last thing you want to do is "burden" the wife with concern over what the big box is on the porch when she comes home; might scare your precious darling.

(#3) Do not get your spouse into biking. The more she learns about biking the more she will come to understand how much bling actually costs. There is NO WAY unless you are a biker you would ever believe this stuff costs as much as it does. This also has the added benefit of protecting your honey from getting hurt while riding. Allows her more time to clean the house too.

(#4) When replacing bikes, make sure they are the same color or are close enough in color so that the spouse does not notice. Of course this is predicated on number 3 where if she is a biker, of course she will notice any change.

(#5) Do NOT tell your wife that when she turns 40 that you will be trading her in for two 20 year olds....trust me, i tried this and even in jest it did not go over well. So instead I asked for a threesome when i turn 40 as a compromise and sorry burner, the third would be a girl.

All of the secrecy can be avoided if the wife has a more expensive gig going than your biking habit. I'm putting my wife through a master's program right now (she's not working) and damn that tuition is expensive. I couldn't spend that much on biking in 10 years. This gives me plenty of leverage when buying bike stuff.

[FoShizzle]

Originally Posted by BrewMaster

All of the secrecy can be avoided if the wife has a more expensive gig going than your biking habit. I'm putting my wife through a master's program right now (she's not working) and damn that tuition is expensive. I couldn't spend that much on biking in 10 years. This gives me plenty of leverage when buying bike stuff.

Nice call!

Yeah, I put my wife through a Masters (though 10 years ago) but she is finishing her RN program in December so I am stoked! Especially after i found out what she would make! Maybe there will be some hawt lesbian or bi nurses she meets on the job! At a minimum, she will now at least be able to give me a proper sponge bath.

and to all the saps out there, go work for Hallmark!

[Winston]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Some nice shirts:[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]

[OMR]

Originally Posted by JoeTruth

[SIZE=3]I'd have nerves giving you marital advise considering I'm recently divorced. Listen to some of the others, lots of good advise here. I will say this little bit...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]One thing I can say is that I failed to do what this old wise man told me once before I married. He told me that couples need to write an unwritten contract with one another of what you'll give and what you'll take. Basically, boundaries and tolerance. Fail to do this in the beginning and you will pay until you die or divorce. I should've listened to him and taken his wise words more literally. Simple but yet deep and logical. Don't create an environment or a standard you can't live up to. Reveal your true self before you take the plunge and vise-versa. Don't pretend a certain thing does not bother you when in reality it does. Such things will haunt you and come back to bite you in the ass. That's a given![/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Also, being best friends is essential. If you can't be unconditional friends with your spouse, then you might as well not be married. A marriage should be established on such foundations. Everything else will naturally follow.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Most importantly, be 100% honest. Don't justify little white lies (hiding bike parts, going riding, what you really paid for your bike, etc.) Again (speaking from experience), these sort of lies will come back to bite you in the ass. Guaranteed! [/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Marry for the right reasons. Too many people don't. Best of luck![/SIZE]

Unfortunately, it sounds like this good advise has come at quite a personal cost... that's OK... the next one will be the best one!

OMR

[FoShizzle]

Dirty D, I see you read the post....dude, you are WAY screwed on number 3....sorry

[soul rider]

don't get married. keep riding!! my girl friend past and present drive me crazy. although the present one tells me to go ride, but still drives me insane.

[JoeTruth]

Originally Posted by OMR

Unfortunately, it sounds like this good advise has come at quite a personal cost... that's OK... the next one will be the best one!
OMR

[SIZE=3]You're absolutely right. The next one is already awesome, non-dramatic, my buddy and most importantly, considerably younger then I with lots of energy to keep up with a dirty old man!


[/SIZE]

[OMR]

Originally Posted by soul rider

don't get married. keep riding!! my girl friend past and present drive me crazy. although the present one tells me to go ride, but still drives me insane.

Sounds like you haven't found your soul mate yet... soul rider... besides, it's hard to sleep with a bike.