10 Big Mistakes Parents Make

[DeeZee]

IMO this article is a homerun! Agree will all 10 points especially #3 and #4

http://men.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-d...0%20%20%20%201

[davemw]

Parents, read this please... This reminds me of that show super nanny... its unbelievable what some of those kids act like!

[duke777]

Gotta LOVE #4. Reason for america's down fall......mass meritocracy!!!!!

USA was best at many things....but no child left behind and the extreme lefties just means we lower our standards on everything!

And #2 comes in at #2!

[shudder]

I'm right in the middle of this -- boys 6 and 12. I agree with it all for the most part as it all seems sort of self-evident to me. But, I do have a beef with the getting involved with school pitch, specifically:

"You should also have at least an e-mail relationship with their teacher."

Prob is -- and I don't mean to offend the teachers here (and I know there are a few) -- they offer this up and then just don't seem to give a sh*t when you contact them.

We have tried over and over during the past two years to communicate with my older son's teachers via email, and they do not respond. This is very frustrating. If you are not going to use this vehicle, then do not provide it as a means of working with you. Period.

And for those of you teachers capable of answering your students' parents' emails, more power to you! I wish you were teaching my boy.

Rant over.

shud

[wgb]

that was a great read. Now I don't have kids, but I have worked with youth in various levels for a number of years, and I have to agree with the comments. Especially the last one, following through. Too often you see/hear parents telling their kids to stop or.... But nothing ever happens, and two minutes later the kids are back at it because they know that its an empty threat. Growing up in the South, when my mom made a threat you had better believe her. Whether it was a grounding or a spanking or whatever she followed through. Of course, then I thought that she was just trying to be mean and quietly took great pleasure in punishing me. However, now I appreciate her for it. Too often I see parents trying to be friends instead of parents.

[BobBurnes]

That was a great article.

[slowSSer]

begin rant:

#4 rings especially loud to me right now- as a swim coach, there are levels of achievement, as in time standards:
c
b
a
aa
aaa
etc....up to Olympic trials standards, American records, world records.
so, to be more "PC" they've changed c, b and a time standards to white, red, blue. (order explained below)

why?????

so that your little precious swimmer doesn't associate their swimming level with school grades. worst part? we're still giving ribbons for 1st to 8th places. 1st is blue, 2nd is red, 3rd is white, so we're still associating a color with a place/ability.

buncha Hippocrates.

yes, it's similar to kid's t-ball where there are no scores so no one feels like a loser. grrrrr.

ok, rant off. good list. thanks!

[wgb]

I use to coach a high school basketball team back in Illinois. I told them straight up, don't expect me to baby you. I even told them that I was a bench warmer in the 8th grade and never saw the floor, but I didn't die because someone told me that I wasn't good. It actaually helped to motivate me.

[houseofmusic]

Originally Posted by slowSSer

begin rant:

#4 rings especially loud to me right now- as a swim coach, there are levels of achievement, as in time standards:
c
b
a
aa
aaa
etc....up to Olympic trials standards, American records, world records.
so, to be more "PC" they've changed c, b and a time standards to white, red, blue. (order explained below)

why?????

so that your little precious swimmer doesn't associate their swimming level with school grades. worst part? we're still giving ribbons for 1st to 8th places. 1st is blue, 2nd is red, 3rd is white, so we're still associating a color with a place/ability.

buncha Hippocrates.

yes, it's similar to kid's t-ball where there are no scores so no one feels like a loser. grrrrr.

ok, rant off. good list. thanks!

if its not color what do you do? same color ribbon for 1st to 8th? On of topic! go Dara and when did Dave coached USC?

[BobBurnes]

Originally Posted by wgb

I use to coach a high school basketball team back in Illinois. I told them straight up, don't expect me to baby you. I even told them that I was a bench warmer in the 8th grade and never saw the floor, but I didn't die because someone told me that I wasn't good. It actaually helped to motivate me.

I pulled my son out of flag-football because I found out they don't use points. He's 9. They want everybody to feel, and I quote, like a "winner."

I was sickened. How will my son learn how to achieve anything in his life if he grows up thinking he just has to put in 10% to win?

Can you imagine the bike races of the future?

"Good job everybody! Here's your trophys! OK....let's start the race!"

My son's racing BMX now. He said to me, "Dad, can I have your trophy?"
I said, "No."
"Why not? I want one too." He said pushing his bike.
"What do you think I had to do to win this, Tyler?"
"You had to win." He said.
"No, son, I had to work."
I'm assuming he was pondering this in his silence, then he said, "I want to win. Can I work out with you?"
"Dude...yes."

[DeeZee]

Originally Posted by slowSSer

begin rant:

#4 rings especially loud to me right now- as a swim coach, there are levels of achievement, as in time standards:
c
b
a
aa
aaa
etc....up to Olympic trials standards, American records, world records.
so, to be more "PC" they've changed c, b and a time standards to white, red, blue. (order explained below)

why?????

so that your little precious swimmer doesn't associate their swimming level with school grades. worst part? we're still giving ribbons for 1st to 8th places. 1st is blue, 2nd is red, 3rd is white, so we're still associating a color with a place/ability.

buncha Hippocrates.

yes, it's similar to kid's t-ball where there are no scores so no one feels like a loser. grrrrr.

ok, rant off. good list. thanks!

yes, it's similar to kid's t-ball where there are no scores so no one feels like a loser. grrrrr.

DON"T GET ME STARTED

M-Biking and Youth Sports are my two main passions.

LL Baseball is the worst! In "A ball" (Single A) no keeping score.......... At the end of EVERY game the players would ask "Coach did we win"

WTF do I say We tied again!

It is not a game if there is not a winner and a loser.

[ODB]

Originally Posted by DeeZee

LL Baseball is the worst! In "A ball" (Single A) no keeping score.......... At the end of EVERY game the players would ask "Coach did we win"

WTF do I say We tied again!

It is not a game if there is not a winner and a loser.

Wow. I had no idea that the "everyone is a winner" ethos had gotten this bad. Just amazing. Guess I'll be finding out more about this as my 4-year-old daughter starts to dabble in organized sports.

[slowSSer]

Originally Posted by houseofmusic

if its not color what do you do? same color ribbon for 1st to 8th? On of topic! go Dara and when did Dave coached USC?

dave's been at USC for a while. he's head coach as schubert stepped down (*well, not down- he's manager and head coach for the Olympic team)

the color ribbon comment was to show that color is indeed related to place/ability, so why do the color time standards instead of a, b, c?

Originally Posted by DeeZee

It is not a game if there is not a winner and a loser.

too true.

there's a first and a last at most things in life. Advancement is earned by achieving goals, it's not given.

If this isn't learned early in life, then WTF are you going to do in the working world?

[DeeZee]

Originally Posted by ODB

Wow. I had no idea that the "everyone is a winner" ethos had gotten this bad. Just amazing. Guess I'll be finding out more about this as my 4-year-old daughter starts to dabble in organized sports.

Next year my middle boy plays AA. Keeping score but there are no standings.

I also have to play a kid for 9 defensive outs (1/2 of the game) if he doesn't show up for practice. I am all for playing all the kids but in my day.....No practice = No play.

This past year I had a player miss 5 practices in a row. When I asked him why he wasn't coming to practice he told me because he did not want to

I still had to let him play

[wgb]

see, I don't understand that crap. Granted, all kids should be given a fair chance. However, I don't think that they should have to play equal time for every game.

[xhuskr]

Originally Posted by shudder

"You should also have at least an e-mail relationship with their teacher."

Prob is -- and I don't mean to offend the teachers here (and I know there are a few) -- they offer this up and then just don't seem to give a sh*t when you contact them.

We have tried over and over during the past two years to communicate with my older son's teachers via email, and they do not respond. This is very frustrating. If you are not going to use this vehicle, then do not provide it as a means of working with you. Period.

And for those of you teachers capable of answering your students' parents' emails, more power to you! I wish you were teaching my boy.

Rant over.

shud

give them one more chance, then email the principal. When I give my email to a parent I use it while they're in my class, and even when they've moved on but want a little help. I can't speak for all teachers, but if I agree with you completely...if they give you the info...use it! Hell.....I just helped a now former student with activities for the summer because the parent emailed me! Good for you being so invovled!

[DeeZee]

Originally Posted by xhuskr

give them one more chance, then email the principal. When I give my email to a parent I use it while they're in my class, and even when they've moved on but want a little help. I can't speak for all teachers, but if I agree with you completely...if they give you the info...use it! Hell.....I just helped a now former student with activities for the summer because the parent emailed me! Good for you being so invovled!

Teachers are like every other profession

Some are

and some are

[reflux]

Originally Posted by wgb

see, I don't understand that crap. Granted, all kids should be given a fair chance. However, I don't think that they should have to play equal time for every game.

AYSO = everyone plays. I played AYSO for at least a decade. It was fun, mildly-to-fairly competitive, and every player on the team had to play at least half the game. Coaches rewarded hard work and talent by having you play the entire game, and did just the opposite for players who didn't show progress and hard work.

For those players (parents?) who felt that AYSO unfairly rewarded those who lacked ____ (skill, talent, determination, etc), they had the option of playing club soccer. There were no minimum playing time requirements, only the goals of improving and winning.

Different strokes, but each taught the value of hard work, teamwork, and depending on your coach, how to be a humble winner and a gracious loser.

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