The Secret To Why Nice Guys Finish Last

[BFloFoxRider.]

So yahoo has become my friend for weird stories. Found this one and i thought it was interesting. Im sure there are many exception but still found it interesting

Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.
First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.

What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.






What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.
It works like this:

Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation.






Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

[strobelite]

no thanks.

[Pain Freak]

Haven't got a girlfriend yet,huh?

[BFloFoxRider.]

Originally Posted by Pain Freak

Haven't got a girlfriend yet,huh?

Thats funny.
Not that, its just i thought it was interesting

[Stray_Bullit]

You should listen to Leykis 101... It's annoying but true.

[Justin]

BFlo, bflo, blfo. Yes, girls are interesting. You can still be nice, and attract women, it just comes a bit more natural to jerks.

Rather than being disinterested, start by being interested for the right reasons (hint, there are plenty of good looking women, but how many of them share your outlook on xyz). If a girl knows you are into more than just her looks, it goes a long way. Learn to project your positive qualities, without bragging. Definitely do not be needy. Learn how to tease without being a jerk. Learn how to lead a group.

Bottom line, if you project a high social value, ie: you are having more fun than anyone else at the party, both the men and women will flock in your direction.

[guero]

i might take some heat for this, but its all about having a bull-pen. thats all i'm saying. not that i'm a jerk by anymeans, but i am no longer the 'nice guy' that i used to be in my early 20's...

different strokes for different folks. there is no one magic formula that will allow you to slay the noogs. change up your tactics and see what works best for you.

[Fired Yo Momma]

Originally Posted by guero

i might take some heat for this, but its all about having a bull-pen. thats all i'm saying. not that i'm a jerk by anymeans, but i am no longer the 'nice guy' that i used to be in my early 20's...

different strokes for different folks. there is on one magic formula that will allow you to slay the noogs. change up your tactics and see what works best for you.

I call it the stable

[dirtvert]

Originally Posted by Fired Yo Momma

I call it the stable

dave, that's been banned in the u.s. and most industrialized countries.

[ArrrKelly]

Chicks get turned off when you try hard to please them. Counter intuitive but true.

[Justin]

Originally Posted by ArrrKelly

Chicks get turned off when you try hard to please them. Counter intuitive but true.

True especially before they deserve it.

[Stray_Bullit]

Never, ever say that you are not dating anyone. Always tell them you are dating a few other girls. They LOVE the competition, I swear. Besides, most women want what they can't get. So make yourself unavailable and they will come running!

[ohyeah89]

I love how all the responses about what women want/like/are attracted to are from men

That's all I'm saying at this point.

[BFloFoxRider.]

lol, i totally wasnt looking for dating advice, but there are some good responses. Actually, i went to raging waters today, and that place is roaming with girls. Its funny, me and my buddy see them way before they see us, and just act like we dont know they are looking. then lead them on a goose chase around the park until either us or them laugh at the other. its stupid, but its pretty fun when the lines are too long to go on any slides

[Permagrin]

Uh, yeah. I happen to have a nice guy who tries hard to make me happy and guess what? IT WORKS and it goes both ways.

And about the girls who like to date guys who are all over town and never available 'cause they're too busy scamming so they can brag to their friends about how they're playing hard to get, I say go for it and maybe you can all share the cooties that are sure to come calling.

There might be a majority for some topics, but you shouldn't speak for everyone just because you've been burnt. Just my .02.

[BFloFoxRider.]

Originally Posted by Permagrin

Uh, yeah. I happen to have a nice guy who tries hard to make me happy and guess what? IT WORKS and it goes both ways.

And about the girls who like to date guys who are all over town and never available 'cause they're too busy scamming so they can brag to their friends about how they're playing hard to get, I say go for it and maybe you can all share the cooties that are sure to come calling.

There might be a majority for some topics, but you shouldn't speak for everyone just because you've been burnt. Just my .02.

Trust me, you can take my word for it. Im just a nice guy and heck, im not even looking to date at 16. Its fun to go out with girls though, and learn from example. Its also fun looking forward to seeing someone .. The way i look at it, dating in the teens is more for getting to know the opposite sex ( or the same for some "other" people ) and get to know how they work. Ok, i understand you will never be able to understand the opposite sex, but teen dating helps to get you familiar with them.

[Permagrin]

Originally Posted by BFloFoxRider.

Trust me, you can take my word for it. Im just a nice guy and heck, im not even looking to date at 16. Its fun to go out with girls though, and learn from example. Its also fun looking forward to seeing someone .. The way i look at it, dating in the teens is more for getting to know the opposite sex ( or the same for some "other" people ) and get to know how they work. Ok, i understand you will never be able to understand the opposite sex, but teen dating helps to get you familiar with them.

You're 16?? In your case then I totally agree with you. I used to be 16, believe it or not, and when you find someone that you click with you look at things differently, even if its not forever. Now get out there and get to know them girls but do it smart. It seems you have some brains, so kudos to you.

And you're right, I'll never understand men and I've known 'em all my life . But that's ok too 'cause I've learned to live with them and their shenanigans .

[BFloFoxRider.]

Originally Posted by Permagrin

You're 16?? In your case then I totally agree with you. I used to be 16, believe it or not, and when you find someone that you click with you look at things differently, even if its not forever. Now get out there and get to know them girls but do it smart. It seems you have some brains, so kudos to you.

And you're right, I'll never understand men and I've known 'em all my life . But that's ok too 'cause I've learned to live with them and their shenanigans .

Yeah, im just out there to have fun and get to know people. Also, honestly, who in my situation has time or money for a girlfriend? I mean i go to school 2 days a week and have ~140 pages of work every week, plus i work at least 22 hours a week. Now not that money is a problem, but then this factor comes in.... I like Bikes. ALOT SO in my case, it plays out well just to get to know them and have a fun time