drugs are bad, seriously!!!!!!

[Stray_Bullit]

Here, I will make it very short.

I got into A LOT of trouble as a teenager. My Father died when I was 16 and I lived in a very drug infested area. It was also 1977. Drugs and pot and stuff were very abundant. I got busted after robbing a bunch of houses.

At 17 I was sent to CYA (prison for kids) for 7 years. Because I was using drugs at the time of my crimes I was also in a drug rehab program. After I got out of CYA I went to a substance abuse program. From there I was introduced to AA, CA, NA etc.

So at 20 years old I got "sober." I never drank alcohol. I liked drugs! But I was led to AA meetings by my counselor. I just stayed there and grew roots. I grew up in AA. I got my first job, bank account, girlfriends etc...

After 23 years of sobriety I was asked at a party (My wife is a "normie" as they call 'em in AA) if I wanted a glass of wine. I said no of course, but I also mentioned that I had never actually HAD a glass of wine in my life! She didn't understand at all. It made me think as well...

Look, I liked drugs. A lot of drugs. The more the better. I had a really screwed up childhood. Who didn't? But mine was worse I guess. After coming to AA as a parolee it just seemed like a good place to get my stuff together. Well it did help, for sure it did.

I was also told many thing like if I was to drink, I would go back to prison, die or live a miserable existence until I no longer mattered. I thought about drinking a lot for a while. After figuring out that in the book it says if you think you can drink, go try it. So I did.

I didn't explode. I didn't become a criminal again. I didn't rape anyone. I didn't feel guilty. I didn't drive drunk and kill anyone. I kind of liked it actually! That was 3 years ago this Halloween. Look, if I feel as though it is getting bad, I know where to go and what to do. Trust me.

I've been sh*tfaced drunk 3 times in the three years or so. It was lame. I drink a bit now and then, not a lot. I am uber responsible and I have way too much on my plate to screw it up.

99.9% of the people I knew in AA think of me as a leper. Just waiting for me to crawl back to them on my knees begging for their help. It's really funny. Nobody is supportive at all. They want me to fail I guess. It's really strange.

I have drug testing at my work. I drive a commercial vehicle and I have to keep all my ducks in a row. I don't do drugs and have not wanted to either.
This was too long. But that is it in a nutshell.

[OTHRIDER]

Wow, this is really eye-opening............

I thought how lucky am I to have never known anyone so messed up on drugs.

Then I remembered Howie, and Mark's little bro who shot his brains out at 17, and my wife's best friend's hubby who abandoned his family 11 years ago in search of a better high, and one of my employees who has lost 5 or 6 family members in ten years to drugs/alchohol (and the list goes on & on).

My sheltered little life in Brea sure seems safe, but it is sad to remember how many times it has be cracked.

I sent this thread to my daughter away at college - we'll have a good chat tonight.

Congrats to all of you who've turned the corner!

[dstepper]

Not getting into this debate. Cudos to all of you that are clean and sober to matter how you did it.

Here is a picture of my drug of choice.

[Kid A]

Originally Posted by dstepper

Here is a picture of my drug of choice.

mine as well but still cannot get my PPO to pay for it

btw- does that make tani your "pusherman"

[guero]

wow, what a response! this thread was just more or less a way for me to vent. i had no idea that it would go this route. it is truly amazing how it has turned into a large open support group more or less.

thank you everyone for your condolences, and sharing your stories with us all.

bret

[JoeTruth]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It's never pleasant losing a loved one; especially when it's premature and drugs were the cause. Lose lose situation.

I'm floored to read how many people have had battles with drugs or had someone very close to them be addicted to drugs. You'd think people would know better and chose not to but we all know it's not that simple. I've had my own (short) stints with drugs and luckily for me, I had an over powering will and desire to get over it. At 19, myself, my cousin and a close friend thought it would be cool to be coke dealers (thanks to Tony Montana). Since we were using coke at the time, we thought it would be a great way to pay for our habit and to get chicks. So we started dealing, selling to other friends, friends of friends and Pierce College students. Although we were nickel and dimer's, the money came pretty easy and the coke-whores even easier. We enjoyed the parties and the attention but after 9-12 months of that, harsh reality started setting-in when we'd stay-up for 3 days at a time and do blow and constantly wake-up with nose-bleeds. The friends we were keeping were friends we only obtained through our common interest; cocaine! They'd hang-out with you only because they could benefit from you and vise-versa. Really an ugly social circle. My cousin quit realizing how effed-up things were getting. My friend Darin and I kept living the life and we eventually went our separate ways. I began to dabble with free basing and that's where I woke-up one morning (literally) and took one look in the mirror and was horrified at what I saw. A thin, paled looking guy with bags under his eyes. I hardly recognized myself and realized a change must be in order. I threw away all my materials, flushed what little I had left over down the toilet, stopped taking calls from coke friends and stopped talking to people who were still using. I'm very fortunate that I haven't touched the crap ever since! Even though I had the will-power to overcome my young expensive addiction, that does not mean others have the same capability or fortune.
No one starts using drugs with the intent of becoming a junkie with a death wish. It's a chemical addiction and it hits all walks of life and social circles. From the rich and to the poor. In my 20's and 30's, I had a very ignorant and narrow-minded outlook on users. I'd always say "mind over matter" and "if you don't like it then why don't you just stop!" Again, not as easy as one thinks it is.

I've never tried meth or crack but I do know enough about it to know it's very addicting and extremely hard to break away from. Like Art and Dean, it can be overcome but one needs to be committed to detox, rehab and sober living and have a strong support network of loved ones. Otherwise, it's a vicious cycle and one that usually leads to premature death.

[lardbutt]

Having grown up in a family full of addictive behaviors, like many of us here I'm sure, I am lucky to have avoided the most self-destructive ones (pepperoni pizza with mushrooms doesn't count). Having seen how it ruined the lives of my family members, I guess I just grew up scared to become addicted to anything.

And now I've gone and become addicted. To riding.

Bravo and major kuddos to everyone our there who has beaten, or is still fighting hard against, their inner demons. You can do it. Just don't ever ever ever stop trying. There are a lot of people out there willing to help. Just ask for it!!!!!

[mechmann]

Originally Posted by Justin

Wow, I get where you are coming from here, but you could REALLY offend someone with a statement like that.

i am often the person to state what i think without regard for how someone else will react (the key thing here is to note that their reaction is also a choice, i didn't force an emotion on someone, they chose to react). i am not very PC.

drugs have affected me a great deal (mostly indirectly through family members). i have strong feelings about them. i was simply sharing my perspective. don't mean to offend, just sharing another point of view.

[L8 APEKS]

You know, it really IS scary seeing how many people out there - even in OUR little STR circle - have suffered directly or indirectly from substance abuse and/or alcoholism.

I don't think we realize what an epidemic drugs/alcohol can cause. If there's THIS MANY people just in the Off-Topic area of STR that have had problems with substances, imagine how many people out there in the GENERAL PUBLIC have problems?! It's staggering to me.

It's sobering to hear the sad stories, but uplifting to hear the successful ones.

Bottom line, do what YOU need to do to stay clean. The method doesn't matter, as long as it works for YOU!

What's especially uplifting is that fact that STR seems to be it's own self-sufficient support group...just look at this thread! Great to see people trying to help other people here, in their own special ways.

[guero]

at my friend richie's wake, RAS from the Long Beach Dub Allstars (friend to many of us here in long beach) played this song on his acoustic guitar after opening words were said...it was amazing.

[bighit8]

I just had to add this after the email I got from my sister tonight. I am not trying to bring people down or ask for sympathy, just put a real affect on this thread.Funny how the timing fit.

Hey you!

How does it feel to be 36? Can't suck as much as 37. Wanted to say Happy Birthday all that. Did you know that Uncle Carl died? Went to the funeral with mom. Sad. Anyway remember mom's cousin Mike? Well he busts out with "Oh hey I saw your Dad" Mom goes "What?!" Guess he saw him in Auburn and Mike said he is "On the dope" thats why he was at the convienience store Mike saw him at. I didn't want to tell him I haven't seen my dad since I was 17. So he lives. Lucky us, right? Hope things are well with you and give the boys hugs from Auntie Angela and cousin Dylan. We love and miss you guys!

Happy Birthday brother!

[bighit8]

Just a reference to my last post!


Yes drugs are very bad, I lost my Father due to drugs and Alcohol. He was in and out of jail/prison most of my child hood.In 1985 he just vanished; never heard from or seen him since.I often wonder If he even thinks about my sister and I or if he is so far gone (or even alive) he doesn't care? Drugs took everything from him.
Sorry for your losses Guero

[bighit8]

Never mind!

[Big Guy]

First, my heart goes to all of you.

But what shocks me the most is that so many of us got very close contacts with addictions with such devastating consequences.

I have heard also many times "I am addicted to biking" and it is easy to see it in the depth that some of us get involved in this activity. If biking is a replacement addiction, well it is a blessing.