Tuesday Funny

[foofighter]

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey You!
Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky
Voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke,
Sir, I Think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should
Know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in
Karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,

"No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[Red Hot Sloth]

Nice Foo...

[Seat Sniffer]

A blonde girl is driving home from work when caught in a hail storm which dents up her car. she pulls into a mechanic for help. He tells her to go home and blow into the tailpipe and all the dents will pop out. She is later confronted in her driveway blowing on her tailpipe by her blonde roommate. She states that according to her mechanic, if she blew on the tailpipe all the dents would pop out of her car. Her roommate states "See! It's girls like you that give us blondes such a bad name! Can't you see your windows are down!"

[el_d00der1n0]

That's why we need a big fence on the border.

[J_Sims]

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket, which he offers to the dog. A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."

[slowSSer]

A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom “I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes.”

Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they'll be delayed two hours.

Shortly thereafter, there is another bang and the pilot announces that they'll be delayed 3 hours. The blonde turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, “Man, if the fourth engine shuts off we'll be up here all day.”

[Red Hot Sloth]

Why don't blondes eat pickles?






































































*Because they can't fit their head in the jars!

[stinkyrider]

A flight is inbound to New York from LA and the pilot announces over the intercom, "this is your captain speaking, we have begun our approach into JFK airport and our estimated time of arrival is in approximately 30 minutes."

A minute later the pilot announces on the PA system, "Man, that was a long ass flight. I sure could go for a cup of coffee and blowjob...."

Quickly and subtly, the flight attendent gets out of her seat and dashes to the cockpit to inform the pilot the he accidently left the intercom button on.

Just then a passenger stands up in his seat and yells at the flight attendent, "Hey! don't forget the coffee!"