The Human race is doomed.

[bjammin]

A buddy sent this to me. After I stopped laughing I decided that you guys and gals need some laughter as well. Enjoy:

[SIZE=2] In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:


On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( I have no other time to dry my hair).


On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?


On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)


On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." ( But, it's "just" a suggestion).


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well.... a bit late huh?)


On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...nahhh... Really??...)


On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)


On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to... what?)


On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)


On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)[/SIZE]

[Shu]

What about a few brands of potato chips that say..."May cause anal leakage"

[foofighter]

Originally Posted by Shu

What about a few brands of potato chips that say..."May cause anal leakage"

that's with that olestrol oil or something right?

[PacMan]

On the warning label on my wife's curling iron it says "Do not use in shower."---Do you ladies prefer to curl your hair while washing it??

My mom bought some generic microwave popcorn and it says "Do not attempt to eat unpopped kernels.---But I like broken teeth.

[jeffj]

Reminds me of a tale from my fathers younger years (when he was in High School). Apparently there was a fellow at his school that wanted to paint his car. On the label of the paint he bought, it said "Goes on so easy, you could apply it with a powder puff."

So he did.

And it looked like he painted his car using a powder puff.

[Red Ryder]

There was a drug commercial on TV for urinary problems, I don't remember the name of the drug, but the side effect was diarrhea.

[OMR]

Originally Posted by Floater

There was a drug commercial on TV for urinary problems, I don't remember the name of the drug, but the side effect was diarrhea.

If you read the small print or listen to the fast talking announcer, it seems like diarrhea is a side effect for just about every med and substitute sweetner on the market these days.

OMR

[Wrecker]

nausea/vomiting/diarrhea are common side effects. But, the best drug MUST be the new FDA approved diet drug "Alli".

When first released, it was divulged that you should wear dark pants if you eat fatty foods with it (some of the testers stopped using due to "anal leakage")

[OMR]

Originally Posted by Wrecker

some of the testers stopped using due to "anal leakage"

Rach... Too much information!!!!!

OMR

[STP]

I found this warning on a weedwhacker

"Do not attempt to cut hair with this device as serious injuries may result"

Kidding! But seriously, they've got to protect us from our own stupidity. Thank the lawyers and litigation for this! Speaking of lawyers, it's estimated that these human leeches are responsible for subtracting up to 2% of the National GDP. Don't believe me? Take a look at your yellow pages and see how thick the 'Attorney' section is....

[ghixon]

Originally Posted by PacMan

On the warning label on my wife's curling iron it says "Do not use in shower."---Do you ladies prefer to curl your hair while washing it??

I took a look at my wifey's as well. Did that warning label also say "For EXTERNAL Use Only"

OUCH!