Anybody know the answer to this???

[OMR]

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Hint: think simple like a kid....who I heard this from....

OMR

[Burner]

because it failed the Kickstand inspection

[imapodaddy]

hmm...well google didn't turn up anything...

[2wheel_lee]

When my ex-girlfriend started riding mtb, she would ride way too slowly through techy sections, then lose her balance. The same applied when she started riding dirtbikes. I got her to continually repeat this mantra:

"A moving bike is an upright bike. A moving bike is an upright bike. A moving bike is an upright bike..."

She started saying that to herself all the time, and she became a better rider without balance problems.

In other words, when a bike is not being ridden, it falls over.

[boboso]

Originally Posted by mtber3737

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Hint: think simple like a kid....who I heard this from....

OMR

It was too tired (two tires). My kid told me that one as well...

[imapodaddy]

Originally Posted by boboso

It was too tired (two tires). My kid told me that one as well...

Too Tired!

HAHAHAHAHA

[Kid A]

More kiddy logic. heard this at a conference to "portray" among other things how compicated we adults make things sometimes

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

[OMR]

Originally Posted by boboso

It was too tired (two tires). My kid told me that one as well...

Right on! We must have been talking to the same kid!!!!



The older I get the easier it is to make me laugh!

OMR

[Kid A]

Originally Posted by mtber3737

The older I get the easier it is to make me laugh!

probably "depends" on who is telling the joke. just be careful not to spring a "leak" j/k

[boboso]

Have to pass on the another two he told me:

Again, remember kid logic... We overthink.

1. Why did the duck cross the road? A) he was stapled to a chicken.

Apparently in my kid's world chickens cross the road in all cases.

2a. Why do ducks have webbed feet? A) to put out forest fires.
2b. Why do elephants have flat feet? B) to put out burning ducks.

[SAR_boats]

Old one:

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

> to hide in cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

> see, it works

[OMR]

How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.

What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.

What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.

What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.

What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.

What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

Take that, Adam & Chris!

OMR

[xhuskr]

Originally Posted by Kid A

More kiddy logic. heard this at a conference to "portray" among other things how compicated we adults make things sometimes

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

I think most of my students would fail this one

[SAR_boats]

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

> A Lickalotapuss

What do you call the brown stuff between an elephants toes?

> slow natives

What do you when your surrounded by bears, lions and tigers?

> leave the zoo

Why did the elephant cross the road?

> Because you left the gate to the zoo open when you left.

What do you call a king in Russia?

>the czar

What do you call a queen in Russia?

>the czarina

What do you call their children?

>czardines

Why did the marine salute the refrigerator?

>It was a general electric

what do you call a marine with an IQ of 70?

>General

what do you call a sailor with an IQ of 70?

>Sir (any officer)

[OMR]

Originally Posted by SAR_boats

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

> A Lickalotapuss

What do you call the brown stuff between an elephants toes?

> slow natives

What do you when your surrounded by bears, lions and tigers?

> leave the zoo

Why did the elephant cross the road?

> Because you left the gate to the zoo open when you left.

What do you call a king in Russia?

>the czar

What do you call a queen in Russia?

>the czarina

What do you call their children?

>czardines

Why did the marine salute the refrigerator?

>It was a general electric

what do you call a marine with an IQ of 70?

>General

what do you call a sailor with an IQ of 70?

>Sir (any officer)

Just getting warmed up:

How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.
What bird can lift the most?
A crane.
What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.
What clothes does a house wear?
Address.
What country makes you shiver?
Chile.
What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!
What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go to sweep.
What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.
What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
Seven months old.
What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.
Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils.
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.
What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede. What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.

What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
What's green and loud?
A froghorn.
What's round and bad-tempered?
A vicious circle.
Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.
Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

Give up??

OMR

[ghixon]

Q:What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?…
A:…Roberto

Q: Why don’t oysters give to charity?
A: Because they’re shellfish.

Q: What is the richest goldfish?
A: Goldfish

Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court?
A: Odor in the court

Q: What are you when you walk in to a bathroom?
A: American.

Q: What are you when you walk out of the bathroom?
A: American.

Q: What are you when you're in the bathroom?
A: EUROPEAN!!!!

Q: How can you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away its credit card.

PS - My 4 year old neice asked me these - I got all of them wrong - I suck.....

[allison]

I've got two... they're lame jokes the local radio station says every now and then.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume?



>Cause they're ugly and they smell bad.


What's brown and sticky?




>A stick.