Mountain Cruiser Guide

[dbritta1]

MOTTO:

"Biking's easier than hiking"

RECOMMENDED EQUIPMENT:

Start with mountain bike of your choice; remove pedal clips, saddle, handlebar, tires and tubes. Replace pedal clips with rattraps or better yet BMX aluminum blocks. Replace saddle with widest Serfas gel seat you can find - old Schwinn beach cruiser seat will work in a pinch. Replace handlebar with highest BMX bars and neck you can find, unfortunately this may require changing brake and shift cables. Install Giant or Cyclepro foam grips on bars. Install lights and reflectors. Replace stock tires with 2.4" knobbies.

Go to swap meet and buy: cheap bike helmet, cheap nylon rucksack, and old baseball cap. You will also need old t-shirt.

Fill rucksack with essential items: tire pump, spare tube, extra tube patches, repair toolkit, light poncho, small flashlight, basic first-aid kit, sun-block, insect repellant, small towel, snacks of your choice, and most importantly, plenty of fluids to drink, especially
beer. The cheap foam cozies they sell at WalMart are perfect for keeping cans cold for a few hours.


CRUISER HELMET ASSEMBLY INSTRUCTIONS:

Cut top off baseball cap, superglue and staple bill to front of helmet. Cut 1 foot square piece of cloth from old t-shirt, superglue and staple cloth to back of helmet - think foreign legion. In addition to the incredibly stupid looks you will get wearing your cruiser helmet, it will help prevent sunburn. In addition, when the bill and cloth are sprayed with DEET, you will eat many less bugs.


RIDING TIPS:

Always park at the bottom of the hill. Pray for tailwinds and cool breezes. Bring extra beer - better still, get others to carry it for you. Keep enough space between riders so nobody has to eat dust. Always down-shift and start whining before starting a big climb - soon you will be too winded to complain. When you reach the section of the ride with the best view, stop, eat the snacks, and drink a beer. If you are always looking at the trail, then you are riding too fast - slow down and enjoy the scenery. Take plenty of photos, especially if someone does something stupid.


Additional suggestions welcome,
Dennis