A little Friday bike humor

[OMR]

Border Crossing
A man on a bike, carrying two sacks on his shoulders, was stopped by a guard while crossing the US-Mexican border.
"What's in the bags?" asked the guard.
"Sand," the cyclist replied.
"Get them off. We need to take a look."
The guard emptied the bags and found out they contained nothing but sand. The man reloaded his bags and continued across the border. A week later, the same man was crossing again with two more bags. The guard demanded to see them, and again they contained nothing but sand. This continued every week for six months, until one day the cyclist failed to appear. A few days later, that same guard ran into the cyclist in the city.
"Hey, where have you been?" the guard asked. "You sure had us wondering! We knew you were smuggling something across the border. So tell me and I won't say a word. What was it?"
The man smiled and told him the truth. "Bicycles!"



OK...OK But here's one all the guys will identify with:

A Nerd, A Nude and a Bike
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new mountain bike. The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?" The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"
The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Have a great weekend, riders!

OMR

[genusmtbkr5]

Gregg, are you riding tomorrow?

[OMR]

Originally Posted by genusmtbkr5

Gregg, are you riding tomorrow?

I have a wedding shower at 12 noon for my daughter & I have to go pick up the sandwiches in Garden Grove at 10 am.... so was planning on riding up Harding at 7:30 am to Main Divide and back on the SS.... but Nancy just put the kabosh on that idea. She needs me home sooner (it's so nice to be wanted!) Looks like I'll be doing a quick spin around El Moro at 7:30 am and leaving for Garden Grove from there.

OMR

[genusmtbkr5]

Originally Posted by mtber3737

I have a wedding shower at 12 noon for my daughter & I have to go pick up the sandwiches in Garden Grove at 10 am.... so was planning on riding up Harding at 7:30 am to Main Divide and back on the SS.... but Nancy just put the kabosh on that idea. She needs me home sooner (it's so nice to be wanted!) Looks like I'll be doing a quick spin around El Moro at 7:30 am and leaving for Garden Grove from there.

OMR

Have fun on your ride at El Moro and congratulations.

[ghixon]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]A friend sent this a while back. I thought it fitting to add it here.[/FONT]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]1. You think that working on your bike is almost as much fun as riding it [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]2. At some point you caught yourself wondering if your bike might look good if you added fenders [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]3. You would recognize that threaded washer from a Presta valve stem anywhere [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]4. You KNOW what a Presta valve is [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]5. You make decisions about car purchases based on which one more easily accepts a rooftop bicycle rack [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]6. You skip that last beer because there is a group ride the next morning [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]7. You own any kind of purple annodized bicycle accessory [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]8. Your bicycle(s) are worth more than your automobile [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]9. You know what the difference is between Ultrasensor, Core-Tech, and Microfiber jersey materials [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]10. You can tell your significant other with a straight face that its too hot to mow the lawn then take off and ride a century. [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]11. Your bike rack and attachments are worth more than your car. [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]12. You pull up hard on the steering wheel trying to jump your car over a pot-hole [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]13, The first thing you ask when you regain consciousness is "How's my bike?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]14. You take a perverse pride in your mid-thigh and mid-bicep tan lines.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]15. Your learn you have some money left over after paying bills and the first thing you do is reach for the nearest bicycling catalog [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]16. Most of the tools you own are made by Park or Blackburn [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS]17. Someone in a car asks for directions and you give them a route that bypasses freeways and busy surface streets and ends on a mountain somewhere.[/FONT]

[SAR_boats]

Originally Posted by ghixon

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]A friend sent this a while back. I thought it fitting to add it here.[/FONT]

1,3,4,5,6,8,9,10,12,13,15,and 17 all apply to me.

I guess I am an addict