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Twas the Night Before Vision Quest
Twas the night before Vision Quest, and all through O’Neill
Not a creature was stirring. Not even!? For-real!
The bikes were all strung in the trailers with care,
In hopes that Mr. Vargas soon would be there;
The spinners were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of finishing danced in their heads;
And Nagaredama in his Giro, and I in my Bell,
Had just settled down before tomorrow’s long hell,
When out on the tarp there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sack to see what was the matter.
Away to the zipper-door I flew like a mole,
Tore down the zipper and looked out the hole.
The moon on the blades of the newly-grown grass
Gave the luster of mid-day, like a hucker’s bared ass,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature peloton, all grinding nine-gears,
With a mop-haired leader, so red-eyed and gloss,
I knew in a moment it must be Downhillross.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he Dude!ed, and high-fived, and called them by name;
"Now, MAXWELL! Now, LACEY! PSHLOSS and OCRIDER!
On, LBMTB! On CHELLE! On, SAUCE and LADDJASPER!
To the top of the Divide! To the top of the Peak!
Now dash away! Dash away! And get you some sleep!"
As oak leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to Black Star the coursers they flew,
With packs full of water, and CLIF bars stashed too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the street
The clip and unclipping of each little cleat.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
In the tent Downhillross came with a bound.
He was dressed all in lycra, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A small sack of nugs he had brought from Bombay,
And he looked like a roadie, just a wee bit fay.
His eyes -- how they squinted! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his eyes red like cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
He pulled out a Bic and worked on his glow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad moon face and a big munchie-belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a tube of Hammer-Gelly.
He was chubby and plump, a DHer in tight spandex,
And I laughed when I saw him, as I glanced at my Rolex;
With a wink of his eye and a twist towards the floor,
He pursed his lips together and blew smoke out the door.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Air-filled the tubeless; then turned with a jerk,
And laying some pro-link along each chain,
He bled all the hydros and prayed for no rain;
He sprang to the Chumba, gave his cow-bell a jingle,
In spite of the bike, he still looked like a dingle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he rolled out of sight,
[SIZE=3] HAPPY VISION QUEST TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!!!
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[SIZE=1]DISCLAIMER -[/SIZE][SIZE=1] "All characters and events in this post -- even those based on real people -- are entirely fictional. All celebrity voices are impersonated ... poorly." This is posted for mirth purposes only and in no way is intended to reflect actual behavior. Lighten up Francis![/SIZE]
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Good Luck To You All!
Originally Posted by Schecky
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