+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Twas the Night Before Vision Quest

  1. #1
    SoCalMTBubbs Schecky's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    From
    North OC
    Thanks
    4,524
    Thanks earned: 2,702

    Default Twas the Night Before Vision Quest

    Twas the night before Vision Quest, and all through O’Neill
    Not a creature was stirring. Not even!? For-real!
    The bikes were all strung in the trailers with care,
    In hopes that Mr. Vargas soon would be there;

    The spinners were nestled, all snug in their beds,
    While visions of finishing danced in their heads;
    And Nagaredama in his Giro, and I in my Bell,
    Had just settled down before tomorrow’s long hell,

    When out on the tarp there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from the sack to see what was the matter.
    Away to the zipper-door I flew like a mole,
    Tore down the zipper and looked out the hole.

    The moon on the blades of the newly-grown grass
    Gave the luster of mid-day, like a hucker’s bared ass,
    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But a miniature peloton, all grinding nine-gears,

    With a mop-haired leader, so red-eyed and gloss,
    I knew in a moment it must be Downhillross.
    More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
    And he Dude!ed, and high-fived, and called them by name;

    "Now, MAXWELL! Now, LACEY! PSHLOSS and OCRIDER!
    On, LBMTB! On CHELLE! On, SAUCE and LADDJASPER!
    To the top of the Divide! To the top of the Peak!
    Now dash away! Dash away! And get you some sleep!"

    As oak leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
    When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
    So up to Black Star the coursers they flew,
    With packs full of water, and CLIF bars stashed too.

    And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the street
    The clip and unclipping of each little cleat.
    As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
    In the tent Downhillross came with a bound.

    He was dressed all in lycra, from his head to his foot,
    And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
    A small sack of nugs he had brought from Bombay,
    And he looked like a roadie, just a wee bit fay.

    His eyes -- how they squinted! his dimples how merry!
    His cheeks were like roses, his eyes red like cherry!
    His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
    He pulled out a Bic and worked on his glow.

    The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
    And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
    He had a broad moon face and a big munchie-belly,
    That shook, when he laughed like a tube of Hammer-Gelly.

    He was chubby and plump, a DHer in tight spandex,
    And I laughed when I saw him, as I glanced at my Rolex;
    With a wink of his eye and a twist towards the floor,
    He pursed his lips together and blew smoke out the door.

    He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
    Air-filled the tubeless; then turned with a jerk,
    And laying some pro-link along each chain,
    He bled all the hydros and prayed for no rain;

    He sprang to the Chumba, gave his cow-bell a jingle,
    In spite of the bike, he still looked like a dingle.
    But I heard him exclaim, as he rolled out of sight,

    [SIZE=3] HAPPY VISION QUEST TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!!!




    [/SIZE]

    [SIZE=1]DISCLAIMER -[/SIZE][SIZE=1] "All characters and events in this post -- even those based on real people -- are entirely fictional. All celebrity voices are impersonated ... poorly." This is posted for mirth purposes only and in no way is intended to reflect actual behavior. Lighten up Francis![/SIZE]
    http://www.ventanausa.com/
    What they teach you to fix, needs to be broke

  2. post thanked by:

    Abui (03-02-2007), andino (03-02-2007), andy aka rut (03-04-2007), Burner (03-02-2007), CalEpic (03-02-2007), Chaos (03-02-2007), Collette (03-03-2007), Fearless Fly (03-02-2007), JimN (03-03-2007), Johnny Dirt (03-02-2007), Keith B (03-02-2007), Kid A (03-03-2007), LBmtb (03-02-2007), maxwell (03-02-2007), ocrider (03-02-2007), Pain Freak (03-02-2007), PHAT TIRE (03-03-2007), pshloss (03-02-2007), Rob (03-02-2007)

  3. #2
    STR Moderator CalEpic's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    From
    Laguna Niguel
    Thanks
    10,046
    Thanks earned: 12,310

    Default

    That is awesome. A great pre-ride laugh.

    You have way too much time on your hands.

  4. #3
    WAWE Burner's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    From
    Wessside
    Thanks
    5,353
    Thanks earned: 5,641

    Default

    fantastic!

  5. #4
    No caca de vaca Pain Freak's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    From
    Fontucky
    Thanks
    15,289
    Thanks earned: 13,848

    Default

    Very good Shecky!
    .................................................. ......................

    Remember, the government cannot give anything to anyone
    until they first take it away from someone

    http://www.shutupwomangetonmyhorse.com/
    .................................................. .......................

  6. #5
    Sorted! Ladd Jasper's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    From
    Planet Girl
    Thanks
    3,164
    Thanks earned: 3,808

    Default

    Nice, Shecky! A little wound-up tonight, that was just what I needed.

    Thanks!

  7. #6
    Member Collette's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2006
    Thanks
    51
    Thanks earned: 831

    Default

    Funny $hit!!

  8. #7
    Senior Member pshloss's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    From
    Los Alamitos
    Thanks
    133
    Thanks earned: 53

    Default

    classic!
    "Are you pickling squirrel meat? I'll loan you my skull press." - Kenneth from 30 Rock

  9. #8
    Dirty Stinky PATH Love maxwell's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    From
    Tustin
    Thanks
    10,169
    Thanks earned: 13,567

    Thumbs up Good Luck To You All!

    Man, that was SWEET!

    NOW GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO TO BED!

    "okay...i'll play, dean. it's maxwell's arm and he crashed. because he can't help it. it's destiny." -Speckledtrout

  10. #9
    dirt tastes funny andino's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    From
    Manhattan Beach
    Thanks
    71
    Thanks earned: 57

    Default

    man that was great before bed

  11. #10
    STR Veteran roadkillross's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    From
    Home: Mb School: Eugene, OR
    Thanks
    368
    Thanks earned: 502

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Schecky View Post


    Gave the luster of mid-day, like a hucker’s bared ass,




    [SIZE=1]DISCLAIMER -[/SIZE][SIZE=1] "All characters and events in this post -- even those based on real people -- are entirely fictional. All celebrity voices are impersonated ... poorly." This is posted for mirth purposes only and in no way is intended to reflect actual behavior. Lighten up Francis![/SIZE]

    hmmmm. who could this be????
    Offroadie-"I ride a fixed gear, but I'm no hipster."

    dirttorpedo- "i like the runs..........:

  12. #11
    Car Fax? tkblazer's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Thanks
    4,044
    Thanks earned: 8,865

    Default

    hahaha sweet... but it seems like you have a wild fascination for sherbert
    Bryguy17: I'd like people who don't mind hitting blacks all day.

  13. #12
    I aim to Annoy Kid A's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    From
    O 2 da C
    Thanks
    10,712
    Thanks earned: 13,193

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Schecky View Post

    He sprang to the Chumba, gave his cow-bell a jingle,

    good stuff. hmmm, should we read anything into this (Sprang, chumba, gave it a jingle???)
    Ned Flanders: “You were bicycling two abreast?”
    Homer Simpson: “I wish. We were bicycling to a lake.”

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Counting Coup & Vision Quest
    By LBmtb in forum Racing and Training
    Replies: 102
    Last Post: 12-17-2006, 03:05 PM
  2. Another Bommer Canyon Night Ride
    By JamR in forum Trailhead
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-08-2006, 05:07 AM
  3. Vision Quest & Counting Coup
    By JamR in forum Ride Reports
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 03-03-2006, 03:45 PM
  4. Wed night night ride
    By Tom the Bomb in forum Trailhead
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-18-2005, 11:18 PM
  5. Vision Quest
    By JamR in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 03-08-2005, 08:17 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17