Cya - very long, I apologize in advance...

[Mtnbkrdr98]

Let me preface this "story" or self disclose or whatever it is by saying I am by no means complaining. Rather, just telling something so that it doesn't go in silence.
I am eternally grateful for my health (as long as God sees fit to let me keep it), and that of my friends, family, and friendly acquaintances. I am willing to work really hard, still to "catch up", and also desire to do community work/involvement somewhere, as I can. I am most confident though, in saying that I am for sure a statistical outlyer, in that, I messed around, for a long time, while others were prepping themselves for career even during high school, then went to work or went to college and went to work. So, what happened was that things passed me by while I made incremental gains (finished my degree in 2000 at the age of 36 or so), but still don't have aton of stability on one job...... Don't judge, please, just read if you will if you want to that is.........That being said here goes:

Most of you don't know me, but I know a few of you - my friendly acquaintances from the Warriors Society (I am not a member) - Gene, Calvin, Gregg, Andy, Chris, etc. Also Maxx on here (dude, I infinitely admire and respect your stoke for riding as much as for my brother who has kept his stoke for surfing after many, many years! as well as your responsibility to yourself and your family to take care of yourself and how you have taught Jake to do same - of which riding/exercise will keep you both healthy!) Gerritt and Kim, Keith, some folks from SHARE, including Ginny. I don't know what/how I could have offended her from years ago when I lived here - but I just gave a simple friendly hello to her on the opening Whiting day, and felt only, if not hostility, certainly not friendliness. The next day, I went for a late afternoon ride at Aliso and while getting ready at my car parked next to church on the street, saw her again finishing her ride and waved hello - to which another unfriendly response. I mean, I'm not expecting something grand, but "thought" she would remember me and chat for a bit. Oh well, maybe I'm reading too much into it?
the Path people, i.e. Karl, Tani (I am really happy for Tani for how successful he's made this small business. I'm sure there is stress is some stress and struggle that most of us don't see - personal, financial, business, etc; but he's made his own thing, it caters to the core of OC, and maybe greater LA for that matter, and good for him/them!).


I moved out of here around 2000 - moved up to Boise just to get out of here. At first I hated it, then started to like it. A few folks from here, such as Calvin (Warriors), came up around 2003 passing through Boise on way to Sun Valley, and we rode the foothills trails, hung out, and it was great to see them.

Crazy me - although I was fully employed and had success in meeting two nice women up there (no not at same time), I kept "missing" this place, or thought so. Thought I missed the ocean and surfing. Thought I missed the weather and all the bitchen riding here, like San Juan, the "Old" Whiting, the technical riding at Laguna and Aliso - really all the OC riding, and my friends, or at least friendly acquaintances here, as mentioned above and more...... So, I moved back here several times in the last 4 years and ended up going back. Well, the most recent move, I moved back here in April and got a very, very good opportunity with a large company based out of Cypress, Ca. The job itself probably starting paid less than most of you are making who have worked on their careers probably for a good while, but for someone like me, was a good start. But since could not or was not willing to shell out the large amount of money to get into and maintain residence in an apartment - I opted to look for share rentals/roommates/room rentals. Well, I've moved 4 times in the last 4 months. Just, if you ever have to do the room rental thing (I feel like a loser telling you this), you'll see it's a total compromise, and if you need what you need, you'll find there is none very good. I even got in an accident backing out of a lousy excuse for a driveway as a lady was giving me back my security deposit in a terrible "studio" in Huntington beach (that was a big mistake renting there), which threw me back in having to pay $1000 deductible to get my car fixed. Also, my insurance, which is almost 3x what it was in Idaho, will now go oup in one year if I stay here in Cal.

Finally, I found a pretty cool share rental in Lake Forest. Since I was working noon to 8:30 pm, I didn't think the 26-mile one way drive to Cypress would be that big deal. In fact, although it is long (and expensive now), it seemed prettty smooth at that time. Sooo, I was thinking I could "finally" start putting my routine back together, and that was going to include road and mtn bike rides 3x per week - be on the trails at 6ish AM (if I had slept well night before - I've delveoped sleep issues over last 5 years or so). And in gym doing strength training 2-3 days) - go to work under the influence of the endorphin rush, good mood, do great job, be able to better tolerate stress, etc.... You guys understand that (the beneifts of the exercise/cardio part of our sport, not to mention the excitement).

Well, just a few weeks ago they offer me 9am to 5:30pm and I took it, thinking it would be nice to get off earlier. Ideally I would have gotten like 7:30 to 4:00 then could go make Tues rides at El Morro with my friends from SHARE; or, get back here, load up and drive the 4ish miles to Whiting and do a nice loop or two there.

NOW, I am in the core traffic - it is easily on hour one way - sucking almost all my time, providing stress, and just terrible. So, I gave notice on a good job, and my last day will be 7/30. My bosses/managers say I am/was doing a good job, of supportive of my decision to leave/move, and said I am assured of a good reference from them. However, I feel like sheyaaat.

The main point about this story is NOT about money; however, I have to keep it coming in. I am 90% or more certain I will move back up to Boise. The only way I would stay here is if I get an opportunity in Lake Forest, Mission Viejo, South Irvine, Aliso Viejo, etc......
What I am doing is "trying" to best approximate what I had in Boise - here in Lake Forest we are right by the foothills (Whiting), the Cleveland, and only about 15 minutes from the Alicia Pkwy entrance to Aliso. IN Boise I was right ON the trails, and also had a maximum of a 20 minute drive to work, when I was a contractor at HP. I'm just NOT willing to do a crazy commute here. Also, the way people drive here - even though you can save a lo of gas and make your tank last longer if you leave a bit earlier and drive 60mph or 65 maybe instead of 70-80 - most people on the freeway won't let you do it - you feel them on your azz, etc. You know what i'm saying.

Things have changedhere too, it seems even more overpopulated, more expensive. I feel ZERO sense of community here. I did see Andy, Gregg, Gene at Whiting on opening weekend, and rode a bit with them, that was cool - but then they took off to be with Warriors at beach party. I am not a member. Yes, I do have other friends outside of biking, and a brother into surfing - but most/only time I get to see the brother is if I go surfing at Huntington Beach Cliffs near Goldenwest, the "local spot" for him and friends - but I prefer biking and don't want to drive there from Lake Forest.

So, I though I was missing this place - I thought I was missing some of the folks I mentioned above. And while I say "thought" - I certanly will them all the best. No one contacts me. I phone Keith, but he NEVER contacts me. .... it's cool.

I know this is probably more dramatic and "serious" than this site is all about, and I apologize for that. However, I AM a very core mtn biker - I love the sport, yet, until my life is stable with stable time and performance on a job that pays enough I can live fine, in a place/surrounding I enjoy, and am riding and working out regularly enough that I can keep fit, get more fit, keep the cobwebs and fat from accumulating and run on the nice endorphins, it all won't work............

Oh yeah, forgot to mention a very significant woman who I lost in Boise and won't talk to me and is mean to me, I found out she moved right into Rancho Santa Margarita. Don't ask how I know - I am ashamed how I found out (PI). But I won't ever try to contact her again. It is very odd though - she befriends Scott (a former friend of mine, associated with Ladera Cylcery and into TT riding, Track racing, some Cx riding, etc). He is no longer friends with me - but it has moslty to do with something other than her.........

Well, guess I said it all. I've wasted my entire weekend - while you are all out there riding, being with friends, family, enjoying, etc. I am on the computer, making as many applications to good (and not so good) openings as I possibly can, because I need a position to come back to (In Boise); or, possibly, just possibly something here in South County. It's also going to be expensive to move (again), because I just drive, so will be selling my bed and furniturre (again), and have to buy up there (again).

Just want to say good bye to all of you - Good Health, and Long Life to all of You, Good Rides with good friends (or solo), Good Beers (if ya drink).

I have no idea what will happen to me - but I don't think I am willing to put a gun to my head.

Questions too:
A. What would you do - considering, I will, in all likelihood, NEVER be able to own here. While I still have a chance to reach success, maybe just based on that, better to relo?
B. Just, your take on the whole thing?
C. Networking: does anybody know of any good companies willing to employ someone out of state, and/or telecommute? One of my friends in Boise area, who moved from Riverside county a few years back, said that might be one key, since job market in Boise is of course much smaller than here. I "may" end up working a low paid call center job, but if so, will make the best of it. I'm also training for medical information management/coding, Health Information Technology online through Santa Barbara City College, but will have to be flexible as to industry, since much smaller pond there, so to speak.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, FOR READING THIS!!! Thank You!

dk - who is not sure if he should put a goodbye, or toast with beer, or other type smiley on here.

[JoeTruth]

This post is disturbing.

*SNAP!*

[Rossage]

I'll send a warning up to Boise

[Blue Rat]

Seems to me like you're being much too cerebral in regards to your state of affairs. Life is what it is and it's up to you to choose to make the most of it or not. In the words of Dale Carnegie:

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.

[Mtnbkrdr98]

Originally Posted by Blue Rat

Seems to me like you're being much too cerebral in regards to your state of affairs. Life is what it is and it's up to you to choose to make the most of it or not. In the words of Dale Carnegie:

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.

While I do have a sense of humor for responses such as the first two! I Do very much appreciate your resonse, these types of responses, this is stuff I can use.

You probably are very right about being too cerebral; however, I am a very serious person. Wish I wasn't. My only real brother died before he even graduated High School, and I've been through some stuff myself. Not the kind of stuff that is really hard though, like being in a chair, or coming back from Iraq in a chair - there is a LOT of insane reality that goes on in this world we are insulated from (good thing?). But still, in my own head, not happy............ hopeful though. Thnk you again for the response.


I'll interpret this as I can stay here and enjoy it, IF I get offerred a job in South County. I know a lot of you do it, but I am just not willing to commute 1 hour in traffic, one way, at least not for $41,000. For me, it is unhealthy. We'll see how this goes. Of course, the commute to Boise is more like 14 hours and 1200 miles, LOL!! It is quite amazing though, as many of you have seen who drive to Utah to go ride, how wide open and peaceful it becomes once you get east of Las Vegas, then into Southern Utah. SLC can be a PITA if you hit rush hour, but then is wide open again all the way to good ol' Boise!

[drclark]

I don't know you, so I'm not going to attemt to comment on the issues you bring up in your post. I only ask, what spurred you to quit your job if you were doing well? Couldn't you ask for your old shift back if the commute was too much to handle?

To answer your question, if you are not happy in So-cal or do not think your chosen career field (i.e. income potential) will enable you to accomplish your life goals (home ownership?) then there is nothing wrong with relocating to an area where you will be happier and have a better chance at getting what you want out of life. Continually moving back and forth between here and boise will not help you establish yourself in a stable routine. You come across as someone who can't pick a path thru life and stick with it long enough to get anywhere. Then get disappointed in your situation.

My bit of advice would be to sit down and really contemplate what you want out of life between now and when you die. Make a list of absolute "must haves" vs complete "deal-breakers". Anything not on either list has to be negotiable (i.e. you could live with or without). Does living in so-cal get you your "must haves" while avoiding the "deal breakers"? If not, then MOVE. Keep in mind that, things won't just magically fall into place with out you doing your part to work toward your goals. Moving somewhere else won't necessarily be the magic solution, though it might make some things easier.

Lastly, I cannot ignore the "gun to your head" comment. If you are really feeling that depressed, you should seek out some sort of professional to talk to that might be able to help you thru your issues. You're probably not going to get the advice you really need on an internet message forum.

good luck,
drc

[Mtnbkrdr98]

Originally Posted by drclark

II only ask, what spurred you to quit your job if you were doing well? Couldn't you ask for your old shift back if the commute was too much to handle?

Being new, and only there for not quite 3 mo's, I didn't feel like I could "rock the boat". I wanted to show flexibility, so took the other shift thinking would do that some more; I already showed it on other ways. Some of my team members (or soon to be former team members) told me same, that I should have spoken with my mgr. about the situation. Come to think of it, some of the health coaches there commute from Lake Forest, and Foothills Ranch - so if nothing else, I could have set up carpooling IF our schedules coincided, which most likeley not on that note.

Doing some diligence on what you said, i.e. the list of must have's and deal breakers.

Thank you again, DRC.

Now, going to go ride Whiting or Aliso to clear my head (and burn some fat from one week of poor eating, no exercise, and choking smog on the crowded 5/405 and stress) and get some endorphins going to run on

[soul rider]

do what makes you happy. we work to live, not live to work. don't place happiness on other people, you will never be happy. people are jerk off a-holes
F em, that's all. I'm sure Boise has killer riding and not all the B.S. that goes on here (L.A./O.C. 25 hours a day 8 days a week) I always talk about Parowan Utah, if you know the town you understand. It's slow and quiet and Dark Hollow is at the top of the mountain ready to be railed. As I don't know you I wish you the best in whatever direction you take.
I'll loosley quote the Terminator, "anger is a more productive emotion than dispair"

[Mtnbkrdr98]

Originally Posted by soul rider

I always talk about Parowan Utah, if you know the town you understand. It's slow and quiet and Dark Hollow is at the top of the mountain ready to be railed.

Took a trip from S. CAl years ago with some folks from SHARE and the first trail we rode was dark hollow. I am not bragging, but didn't have nearly the level of skill as I have now as an all mtn rider, and was riding a Dean Ti HT, but still trail was killer as I remember, fast, long, fun, some technical and awesome scenery!

I think the beer/alcohol was watered down though, LOL! I don't drink, but those that do weren't real happy about the 2% or so, I think it is/was!

[soul rider]

Originally Posted by Mtnbkrdr98

Took a trip from S. CAl years ago with some folks from SHARE and the first trail we rode was dark hollow. I am not bragging, but didn't have nearly the level of skill as I have now as an all mtn rider, and was riding a Dean Ti HT, but still trail was killer as I remember, fast, long, fun, some technical and awesome scenery!

I think the beer/alcohol was watered down though, LOL! I don't drink, but those that do weren't real happy about the 2% or so, I think it is/was!

little secret...State liquor store, next to the police station...cold beer...um ales. They have bigfoot, pale ales and all other "full alcohol" flavors
As always closed on sundays

[ArrrKelly]

Awesome rant!

[Blue Rat]

I have had a difficult life, just like most people ... a silver spoon was not in my cards. I've spent 26 years in the military and have lost more close friends than I can bear to think of. The emotional and physical remnants of the live I chose are something that are mine and that I live happily with. One thing that you can bank on is what it says in the Bible. "In this life you will have trouble". This is true for everyone on the planet. Beautiful people, poor people, intelligent ones and everyone in between. Some are more fortunate than others in that they have few troubles but as the saying goes if everyone put their problems in a basket and could take someone elses, they would probably take back their own. Physical and emotional pain will not be ignored. People who are in physical pain can often get medication to help until the problem is fixed. People in emotional pain often try to medicate with drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, you name it. These things may help temporarily but end up making the pain worse.

Work at either changing the situation you're in or work to accept it. You have the freedom to make choices in your life and only you can take the responsibility for those choices. With that freedom of choice comes the mercy of consequence, for those you have no choice over.

There is peace in acceptance. It may take a while but you can do it.

[OldDogDan]

Originally Posted by Mtnbkrdr98

"....got a very, very good opportunity with a large company based out of Cypress, Ca."....
"My bosses/managers say I am/was doing a good job, of supportive of my decision to leave/move, and said I am assured of a good reference from them. However, I feel like sheyaaat"...."Some of my team members (or soon to be former team members) told me same, that I should have spoken with my mgr. about the situation. Come to think of it, some of the health coaches there commute from Lake Forest, and Foothills Ranch - so if nothing else, I could have set up carpooling IF our schedules coincided, which most likeley not on that note."

You are in something of a "dark hollow" right now. drclark and blue rat had good advice. I'd like to add that you have nothing to lose by going back to your boss and saying you made a mistake, and that you'd like your original hours back, or even your most recent hours that you didn't like. Swallow your pride, if that's what keeps you from admitting a mistake. If you get the job back, you will have some time and money while you plan your next step, whether to find better hours here or back to Boise. If not, you're no worse off. Keep your options open and do some thinking and planning. Talk to some of your non-biking friends and family you mentioned for emotional support. Good luck.

[sdyeti]

I am not from SoCal (neither is my sig other) and I am finding it harder and harder to justify living here for much longer. I know how it feels to be a transplant (as do many on here). Don't get me wrong...there are many positives, but just like any other place to live, there are many negatives, too. Our main reason for leaving (someday) will be to go to a place where we can afford a reasonably priced house. I am a teacher and he is a surveyor. We don't make bank, by any means, but want a better standard of living than to be a renter 4 life.

I feel your pain about the lacking sense of community, though. Where we are from, people would at least look you in the eye when you passed on the street

[SKINNY]

dude.. your lost... figure out what top 5 things are most important to you and excecute on them.. the rest is BS..

For me..
Family
Friends (the real ones)
Finance
Fun (mtb, knifemaking)
Freetime

hm... they all start with F.. That is F'ing Fabulous!

[El Salt]

I've lived here my entire life here (41yrs), 90% of it in WLA. I'm glad to hear that its just not me! :-)

Lack of community, traffic, cost of living, did I say traffic (405 in WLA)? I live only a few miles from trails in the SM's, but it can take way too long (like 45min to go 8mi - I kid you not).

Anyway, your rant was right on in my book.