Local Captain missing

[PacMan]

SO sad to hear. My prayers go out to his family.

Interesting that he came all the way down here to north SD county. Does anyone now if he had some sort of ties to the area?

[Sharky]

I'd been in touch with friends/firemen from surrounding depts. and none of them as of today even know specific reasons but there were clues that his disappearance could be related to personal reasons. I was still so hopeful he'd be found ok. Thanks to everyone for looking and keeping an eye out I know the family would very much apreciate knowing that people cared enough to do so without even knowing him. I'll update if I hear any more without betraying anything too personal but I agree it's so selfish to do that to the one's that love you he has 4 kids without a father now. Sorry he fealt that this was his only way to solve things. It's a very sad day.

[BrewMaster]

Before we are too hard on him, please understand that when considering suicide, it has nothing to do with being selfish or hurting other people (at least in my experience). It's hard to explain if you haven't been there, but when you see everything in your life and think, "man, I wouldn't mind killing myself just to make it end," there are some serious problems.

I have nothing to complain about in life, a wonderful wife, great family and friends, making good money, and a vibrant church community that supports me, so it's not about reality or what's good and bad in life. All of these great things in life did little to convince me that life was worth continuing. The support of these people, however, is what kept me alive last year. Yes, it was that bad.

Contemplating suicide is a really dark place that defies logic or understanding. I distinctly remember in high school thinking that Kurt Cobain was a wuss for killing himself and leaving his wife and kid without him. But now I understand better where he was coming from and how suicide is just not that rational.

I mourn for Mr. Palasios and his family while also thanking God that I never took things that far.

Sorry to get so heavy, but this is obviously personal for me.

And just as a side note, if anyone is contemplating suicide or dealing with depression, I would be happy to buy you a cup of coffee and listen to what you've got going on. PM me. Don't try to deal with this alone.

Additionally, if anyone has someone in their life who is depressed or contemplating suicide, know that your support and love have more impact than anything you can say or advice you've got. If anyone is in this position, I know my lovely wife Linda would be more than happy to talk to you about her experience supporting me. She is an amazing woman my wife!

[surlygal]

Originally Posted by BrewMaster

Before we are too hard on him, please understand that when considering suicide, it has nothing to do with being selfish or hurting other people (at least in my experience). It's hard to explain if you haven't been there, but when you see everything in your life and think, "man, I wouldn't mind killing myself just to make it end," there are some serious problems.

I have nothing to complain about in life, a wonderful wife, great family and friends, making good money, and a vibrant church community that supports me, so it's not about reality or what's good and bad in life. All of these great things in life did little to convince me that life was worth continuing. The support of these people, however, is what kept me alive last year. Yes, it was that bad.

Contemplating suicide is a really dark place that defies logic or understanding. I distinctly remember in high scjool thinking that Kurt Cobain was a wuss for killing himself and leaving his wife and kid without him. But now I understand better where he was coming from and how suicide is just not that rational.

I mourn for Mr. Palasios and his family while also thanking God that I never took things that far.

Sorry to get so heavy, but this is obviously personal for me.

And just as a side note, if anyone is contemplating suicide or dealing with depression, I would be happy to buy you a cup of coffee and listen to what you've got going on. PM me. Don't try to deal with this alone.

Additionally, if anyone has someone in their life who is depressed or contemplating suicide, know that your support and love have more impact than anything you can say or advice you've got. If anyone is in this position, I know my lovely wife Linda would be more than happy to talk to you about her experience supporting me. She is an amazing woman my wife!

Well said SAM and I appreciate your willingness to help another soul that may be in a very dark space.....

I've always had a hard time with people making judgement statements when they don't understand or have never felt that way or been in a particular situation! In anything not just about suicide. I feel if you haven't been there than it's not your place to judge.I let God make those calls.

Lets just keep his family in our prayers and pray they get through the fact their FAMILY has lost a obviously very Sad/Stuck/who knows? member and they can grow and move on.

[Banana Up]

I just found out that one of my best friends is dating his niece. He told me a few days ago her uncle was missing but i didnt put 2 and 2 together. they have no idea why he did this. its super strange.

[JoeTruth]

That's sad news. A shame it had to happen at all; especially considering he had kids. First reaction is to call him a "chicken shit" and a "selfish wuss" but that would be a very arrogant and ignorant reaction. I'm sure the poor guy was in a dark place and at a cross roads. It's too bad he didn't reach out more and come to terms with the turmoil in his life (or maybe he did and didn't receive the kind of help he needed). Life does get challenging, there is no doubt about it. Thoughts are with his wife, kids, family and friends. It's never an easy thing to deal with a loss of a loved one.

Regardless of how tough I've had it and how many obstacles I get thrown my way, I always try and make the best of it and realize there are people in the world who have it a million times worse then I will ever have it. Always a good dose of reality for me. In addition, some people have chemical imbalances and suffer from hereditary depression. I know a guy that suffers from depression as his mother always has. About 10 years ago, his younger brother (21 at the time) who had everything going for him, walked down to Eaton Canyon after being out with friends one night having a great time and blew his own head off with a shotgun. No one could understand and it's a damn shame. Like Sam said, don't get all high and mighty and cast stones. If you've not been there, try and understand the potential misery and the state of unhappiness this guy was possibly in. Otherwise, he would've never did himself in like that. It's (obviously) far more complex then most realize. I feel very fortunate to have never suffered from such severe depressions where I've contemplated ending things. I love life a little too much. All I want to do is keep the machine going and enjoying all that life has to offer.

[boludo]

The Parable of the Divers, by Stephen E. Robinson, is a story with a very powerful message. It tells the tale of a diving competition focusing specifically on two divers. One diver grew up living a comfortable life and with proper training in a facility, another grew up in less favorable circumstances with no training and bad facilities. At the end of the competition the diver that grew up in less favorable circumstances gets higher marks from the judges than the other diver.

The losing diver is outraged and approaches the judges for an explanation. He had perfect form, dove better than the other diver, etc... He is told by the judge that while he had better form and was always sure to point his toes, his competition performed more difficult dives, albeit dives that gave less attention to form. DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY. The diver won because his dives were more difficult, he faced greater obstacles.

While other people's lives may appear to be in poorer form than our own, we cannot know the degree of difficulty they have experienced, so how can we judge our lives as better in any way, shape, or form.

This is not a very good description of the story, but hopefully you get the idea.

[Sharky]

My comment sounded judgemental was not thinking and reacted to the affects of his actions but I apreciate all your words I didn't mean to come across that way at all I'm anything but arrogant and judgemental just a snap reaction my apologies. As a teen I concidered suicide so I understand you really don't see past what leads you to those thoughts. The guys I used to work with all knew Roger and was so hopeful my connections to mountainbikers would help find him and now just very sad over the news. I wish we could have reached out to him and now it's too late but I feel you already have made a difference in other's lives just by what you have all shared here so something positive has already come out of this. Thanks for that.

[TrojanInsomniac]

Originally Posted by Pain Freak

Damn, that really is sad.

I know what depression is like. I went to doctors and did what they told me to do and took all their "mood pills", nothing really worked for me. I even considered suicide a few times (I'm not that selfish though) and then I picked up mountain biking. I'm dead serious, it did what no pill could do, it changed my whole being. The harder I rode the better I felt. I still do get depressed if I go to long without a good ride. I can live with this addicition though. I just wish it would of worked for this guy the way it worked for me.

I've been battling depression for much of my life, but was in denial. I have tried lots of substances to escape reality, thought about suicide one time or another, and tried to picture what everything would be like if I were no longer around. I finally came to terms with it about a year ago. I too believe mountain biking has been as good or better than being medicated. Things have been rough on me of late and I'm having my ups and downs; however, I haven't lost faith in myself and know things will work out in the very end. It's always good to know that I can find peace in going out for a ride......although the ride doesn't end up being too peaceful. Thanks for sharing your story Pain Freak, and stay strong!
It's a shame Mr. Palasios' life ended the way it did. It's guys in professions like his that I truly look up to. Prayers to his family.

[thistrailisntlegal?]

Wow, this has turned into an interesting thread! As someone who's dealt with depression and the related issues for most of my life it's nice to know that there are others who deal with it the same way I do. Go for a ride and sweat it out, adrenaline it out, fear it out or whatever.

[BrewMaster]

Originally Posted by Sharky

My comment sounded judgemental was not thinking and reacted to the affects of his actions but I apreciate all your words I didn't mean to come across that way at all I'm anything but arrogant and judgemental just a snap reaction my apologies. As a teen I concidered suicide so I understand you really don't see past what leads you to those thoughts. The guys I used to work with all knew Roger and was so hopeful my connections to mountainbikers would help find him and now just very sad over the news. I wish we could have reached out to him and now it's too late but I feel you already have made a difference in other's lives just by what you have all shared here so something positive has already come out of this. Thanks for that.

No harm done and no need to feel bad Sharky. You cared enough to post it here with hope that he would be found safely. That says a lot and means a lot in and of itself.