The Iron Horse mystery...

[Red Hot Sloth]

On a recent ride I had the unfortunate opportunity to ride with someone (seat sniffer) who was bragging about his Iron Horse, exclaiming "This is the sound of victory!!", while attemping to ride abreast of myself and another rider (eldooder1no). It wasn't just once, but twice, I felt it was an attempt to goad me into a confrontation. But I was slightly off the mark as it was was more of a test of the old Iron Horse smack talk voodoo curse. I must admit, I bit onto the carrot, and was rewarded with an abrupt, violent, wet, and muddy crash.

Yes my friends, I couldn't resist the urge to respond to the taunting of one Seat Sniffer, as he somehow knew what was going to develop from said responce. All it took from me was to say..."what, by that Iron Horse!?"
And I swear, the voodoo curse of the Iron Horse, it was almost insantaneous. As I uttered those final words I rose up on my perch to power up and get a couple solid pedal strokes to overtake The Sniffer on his steed, of course not realizing his sinister plan with the little known voodoo curse of the Iron Horse, when all of a sudden my driveline locked up and caused me to lurch forward onto my handlebars, the fish-tailing seemed to last for minutes, yet only micro-seconds passed, the next sound was one of acceptance of realizing it was going to happen....I was going to hit the floor...OHHH SH!!!!!!TTT!!!!

Upon my reflection of this incident, I now have a greater appreciation of what demons bely in those Iron Horse frames. I will however attempt to exact my revenge upon this nefarious plot to topple the Sloth and cause humiliation, beware Seat Sniffer, when you least expect it, you better expect it.


"I saw a sloth track at Daley Ranch. It looked like a faceplant." Seat Sniffer

[northshore]

My first ride at the Fully with Dino, he pretty much explained that any Iron Horse bike you ride (with a DWLink) will have an automatic, "Excuse me, Iron Horse coming through" clause.

On a serious note, the many trails I have ridden with the Horse, I have never once got flack for it. I have received nothing but positive feedback and questions about where they can buy what I was riding. In the long run, who cares what you ride as long as you are out there. It's part of the reason why I enjoy riding because I have yet to run into snobby trail riders versus other hobbies that are full of snobs.

[el_d00der1n0]

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Iron Horse.
Caution: Iron Horse may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Iron Horse Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Iron Horse on concrete.

Discontinue use of Iron Horse if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations
If Iron Horse begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Iron Horse may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Iron Horse should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Iron Horse, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Iron Horse include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Iron Horse has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Iron Horse.
Iron Horse comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Iron Horse
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

[Dino Brown]

Sloth- Sorry to hear of your misfortune.
Truth be told, all Iron Horse Bikes are shipped with a "PAYBACKS ARE A B!TCH feature." Sooo sorry your Homie had to press the button. Sooo sorry!

Join us...

[Keith B]

To me the word Iron conjures up the industrial revolution, bearded sweaty old men sand casting rough ingots of thick metal. Adding the word horse to the end of that only serves to strengthen the Victorian steam train image. I'm thinking low tech pipe and slippers style bike. I say rename it Alloy-Stallion and stop selling it in Big 5 Sporting goods for more street cred with 15yr olds

[Seat Sniffer]

Instant karma's a beeatch! beeatch!

(The little gremlins that live in my down tube help too)

[CC]

Keith, I think you're taking the wrong approach on this. Although the steel industry has been around for a long time, it is tried and true and it is the infrastructure of this nation....Now take a horse and picture a woman riding a horse, now doesn't that conjure up a nice image.

Well I've been the steel industry for over 7 years and I've been riding horses since I was 3 and I can only think of positive things to say about both of them.

So, no need to change the name in order to generate interest in the good ol' IH, they've got Dino Brown and voodoo working on their side.

[Red Hot Sloth]

Originally Posted by Seat Sniffer

Instant karma's a beeatch! beeatch!

(The little gremlins that live in my down tube help too)

On our next ride, I'm gonna "Moon-Walk" all over that horsey

[COLEKO]

Originally Posted by Keith B

I say rename it Alloy-Stallion and stop selling it in Big 5 Sporting goods for more street cred with 15yr olds

Dang I wish they sold them at Big 5. With all the sales they have I could save big time on my next bike.

[Dino Brown]

Originally Posted by Red Hot Sloth

On our next ride, I'm gonna "Moon-Walk" all over that horsey

Hahaha! Consider yourself JYNXED!

Happy Trails!

[Red Hot Sloth]

Yeah I know
Maybe I'll just wait until he crashes to moon-walk all over the place

Originally Posted by Dino Brown

Hahaha! Consider yourself JYNXED!

Happy Trails!

[Dino Brown]

Good idea!

[Seat Sniffer]

Originally Posted by Red Hot Sloth

Yeah I know
Maybe I'll just wait until he crashes to moon-walk all over the place

you're a terrible human being! why would you wish that on anyone! don't forget your rhinestone encrusted glove. now go lay down.

ps, what's the inside joke with "moonwalk"?

[mazda-monkey]

They are changing their Company name to Aluminum Horse this year. A few years ago the name was Cast-Iron Horse.

[el_d00der1n0]

Originally Posted by mazda-monkey

They are changing their Company name to Aluminum Horse this year. A few years ago the name was Cast-Iron Horse.

Before that it was Stone-Horse.

Is Bronze-Horse next?

Industrial-Revolution-Horse?

Post-Modernism-Horse?

[Seat Sniffer]

space age polymer developed by nasa-horse